One of the keys to being a really effective parent is having complete unconditional love and acceptance for yourself, and being able to be completely honest.
Photo by Katie Emsley on Unsplash
I know I probably come across as someone who is harsh and insensitive towards mothers, parents, or people who work with kids, sometimes. This is because a lot of what I share is to educate people on the pain I see in children, with the way we are currently doing things. I am not the only person to voice this concern, see Happiness is here.
However, what most people do not know, is how much I support parents to meet their own needs and take care of themselves, first and foremost, in order to be more effective parents. So that they too, can enjoy life!
Take a look at the 3 taglines that I use for the parent/child line of my business:
Reduced parental stress Improved child success
Know yourself Know your kids Flow with life
A service for parents with sensitive kids
Notice they ALL start with the parent's needs first?
In my Human Design, my biggest challenge is to straddle this desire to be selfless and in service to others, and the desire to be selfish and take care of my own needs. The same theme is reflected strongly in my Astrology (to be a warrior and go it alone, and to slow down and work cooperatively with others). I am aware, from my Human Design, that, if I do not take care of my needs, I am going to envy those that seem to have a better life than I do. No one wants that! And this makes me ideal to teach parents this lesson of balancing your needs with the needs of your kids and family.
When you know your Human Design and Soul Contract, you will know what you are here to do, what your strengths are, and where you are vulnerable, and likely to struggle. This is a gift, because, when you know this, you know how to take care of yourself, and you can prioritize to focus on what is most important, and drop the rest, if need be. This also allows you to model how important self-care, and respecting the needs of others, is, for your kids. If you do not respect your needs, they won't either. This is not about "because I said so", because you're the adult. Its "because this is what I need, what do you need?", we are equal, with equal rights, but as the adult we can hopefully express ourselves, and extend ourselves, better than our kids can.
In my Soul Contract, my Soul Destiny is a common one nowadays for all the new kids coming in, who are here to share the message of unconditional love (13-4).
Unfortunately, having this number in your Soul Contract, also means that you are likely to have a not so ideal experience with your own mother. I also have markers in my Astrology that show that my relationship with my mother is likely to be less than ideal - Aries Moon in the 12th house, which means I probably felt quite alone and didn't get the love and support I needed from my mom when I was growing up. This is true, but this is my truth, not hers.
I can imagine that it is hard for a mom to have a child who sees them through such tainted glasses. But this is the childhood that I needed in order to become the person, parent, and practitioner that I am today. And this is why parents need to take care of their own needs, and feel that they truly did the best they could, no matter what their kids may grow up to say.
At the time, it was very hard. I was suicidal for many years. I truly should have died. But, my Soul knew the greater plan, and while I slept it decided, "you're staying".
Photo by Dmitry Ratushny on Unsplash
I feel like I am now on borrowed time, that has been gifted to me, and I am so grateful for the amazing life that I have, the amazing tools that I have at my disposal, and the visceral memory of what it was like to be that child, to come back from being suicidal, being labelled as mentally ill and learning disabled, to someone who is really rocking life, for me and my family.
This is why it is so important for me to complete my mission to support families, which includes parents and kids!
I know how to bring people back from thinking life sucks. This is a gift!
Human Design, Soul Contract, Astrology, and Gene Keys allowed me to understand WHY I had certain experiences, but even though I can forgive them, I still needed to be able to release the trauma and pain from my body - both those from the past, and those that come up as I get re-triggered in the present time. For me, Name Optimization using Soul Contract principles, Divine Healing and Aumakhua-Ki have been ideal for this, to support me, my kids, and my clients.
Aumakhua-Ki is similar to Reiki, but much more powerful. The way it was explained to me is: Reiki is powerful, but now that things have shifted, more powerful, higher frequency tools have become available. Aumakhua-Ki is one of these high frequency tools. I can use this energy to release the pain in my body, and to hold space for my kids when they are having a meltdown or are hurt, and for my clients or myself, to facilitate powerful healing processes.
I support families to understand the context within which they are functioning, so they can understand we are all a work in progress, we are all unique, we don't need to take things so personally, we can live life with more grace and ease, and everything is going to be ok.
I feel we are all given the children we can handle. Some of us have very challenging kids, so that we can really step up. But you need to know how to navigate this.
Dr Shefali is probably the most commonly known leader in the conscious parenting movement, but from what I can see, she only looks at a very small aspect of conscious parenting. Which is that, sometimes what your kids do is just a reflection of your own stuff/history. She doesn't seem to offer much more consciousness than that?
My work, on the other hand, tells you exactly why you had and have certain experiences, what to do about it, why your kids re-act the way they do, where they are headed, and how to clear the energetic memory of what happened to you, so that you can claim the gift and drop the baggage.
It doesn't correct itself overnight. This is a journey. But, I can clearly show you how you and your child/children/spouse are the same/different, how you can be sensitive and leverage this difference/sameness, and I can hold space for you and answer questions as you make the transition.
My vision is to empower moms, who are interested, to be the master of their family.
To hold the map and vision for where each family member is trying to get to. Forgiving their past experiences and parents, claiming their gifts, clearing their body of negative energy that is no longer needed, and providing a supportive healing environment for their family.
If this interests you, please feel free to get in touch for a free, no obligation, 15min chat, here.
None of us are perfect. Certainly not me, or my kids. We are all a work in progress. And that is why honesty, and unconditional love and acceptance for yourself, and your kids, is so crucial. So you can navigate this amazing journey together, on each other's side, with full disclosure of what is going on for each of you.
This, to me, is true conscious parenting!
Love and Blessings, and Happy Parenting.
Happy Parenting - Photo by London Scout on Unsplash
MSc Psychology, Stress & Health
Know yourself Know your kids Flow with life
#parentalstress #selfcare #healing #familysupport #consciousparenting #suicidal #lifepurpose #mothers #sensitivekids #children #humandesign #soulcontract #reiki #forgiveness #howdoiforgivemyparents #howtoovercomearoughchildhood #howtobeagoodparent #howtounderstandmychild #whatisgoingonwithmychild