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A conversation is not always best…

My almost 9yr old wanted to have a conversation, hoping it would make things better. I commend her for trying. But I have learned that some people are best not to get into a conversation with. She will learn over time what works for her. And I will continue to support and learn alongside her, open to what she wants me to see.

For a conversation to go somewhere good, both sides need to be able to listen, hold space, and value the relationship enough to talk less. I reserve my conversations for people who can take me to a place where I feel better afterwards, not worse. People who make me feel worse tend to rarionalize too much, it doesn't feel like a conversation, more like a vomiting, bulldozing, and non stop spinning ride, combined. It takes courage to cut someone off, but according to non violent communication, it is better to let someone know when you can't listen to what they are saying any more, than to let them go on and just tune them out for your own protection.

It reminds me of conversations I've had with the new principal at our kids' public school. I always leave them feeling like "what happened, I think she feels accomplished, but I don't feel any better, I was handeled temporarily but nothing was resolved, other than my lack of desire to communicate anymore, which is probably their goal".

I've stopped having conversation with people like this I inform them when I need to inform them. And I reserve my energy for things that I can make progress in, to support my health, my kids, my husband, and my clients.

I feel a lot of empathy for people who are stuck in a place where they can't see that they need to grow. I've been there too, and it's not fun to look back. But I con't help them. We all have to climb out, if and when we are meant to.

It reninds me of "the ‘crabs in a bucket’ metaphor (which) describes a situation where individual crabs could easily escape from a bucket, but instead, they pull each other down, preventing any from escaping."

I hope this is helpful for some, to find their way out, even if the other person can't, maybe one day they will. Or maybe they can't with you but they can with another. Life lessons are super hard, and I am grateful to be able to support my kids, husband, and clients through them.

Sending love to all, but especially to children, who try so hard with the adults in their lives, and who, when their attempts fail, fall back on trying to process things out with physical illness, because no one was able to hold space for them, without getting triggered by their own stuff, making it worse.

This ability to process out through physical illness is a gift, even though we suffer as it happens. Hopefully someone recognizes that the body is trying to communicate with these symptoms, because when the person stops seeing these symptoms as communication, the body stops trying, and the sickness goes deeper, until the person identifies with being sick.

Esogetic Medicine, the Information Field, RestoreChi, and Divine Healing are great ways to try to break this cycle, so we can try again.

Conversation isn't always best because things are stored physically (in our cells and body systems), emotionally, energetically, relationally, in images, sensations, non verbal (or preverbal) memories, in the field, from above, from below, past and future lives, etc. It takes time, love, support, and a safe space to process it all, so we can find peace at our center again. We learn through conflict, but we can be kind to ourselves, as we go through the process.


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