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A fight worth engaging in

My almost 3yr old has gone from program to program. To be fair, her older brother and sister did to. The latest is the meltdown, when play time is over and storytime begins. When I explain this as “she doesn’t like cleanup and story time” the staff says “looks like she doesn’t like going home”. But, really, why do we need to blame anything that it is not? All it is is that she doesn’t like that play time ended on someone else’s schedule, who does? But, it is someone else’s program, and this is something we do have to learn to accept in the world. It’s not bad that she is upset, and it’s interesting because there is anger first, and self harm, and I just want to get her home, so as not to disrupt story time and to give her her dignity. She is also a reflector, by human design, a rare type, 0.4% of the population, here to try to be like others, and to report when there is health or illness in a situation, with their words, their health, and their behaviour. And, I’m not fighting. I am engaging. I am going to continue to take her, when she wants to go. And remind her that, when play time is over, she has 3 choices: join story time, leave nicely, or leave in a meltdown. And one day, she will choose a nicer exit. Because, after the anger, came the true emotion: sadness, that, there is nothing she can do to get her way, but choose to accept the rules or decide not to play. This is life, and it’s worth learning how to navigate, that is our role, to support her, we are her family.


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