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Fight-flight-freeze, Pita-Vata-Kapha, no-motors-projector, unique psychology, the long game

Updated: May 22

This article speaks from two aspects. One, before the pre existence Esogetic treatment (which addresses the baggage the soul brings in with them, prior to conception) kicked in, and one after.


I was taken aback in class this weekend, to be the only student presenting with a small degenerative kirlian photo.

My teacher shared (of the 3 energetic patterns): "where endocrine is flight, degenerative is freeze", and I guess that makes lymphatic/toxic fight.

The definition for degenerative is somewhat unkind (i.e., "degenerative people often don't see the point of therapy, they are not open to it at all, it's their defense mechanism, you need to try to help them see the benefit, by opening them up to feel some feelings", not completely inaccurate, as I do decline going for tests and purchasing more supplements, see below). The definition for kapha is also unkind (lazy, fat, unmotivated), the last part being untrue for, me because I am kapha-pita (with pita following very closely behind). Kapha would probably also be freeze, while pita would be fight and vata could be flight. Many people who consider themselves spiritual are vata/flight, which may explain why all of the other students in class this weekend presented with endocrine photos (shocked, dissociated, don't know how to be here). To be a spiritual teacher, however, you need to be able to stay, which is the positive side of being kapha dominant.

The rest was written after the pre existence treatment took hold...

This was my initial photo:

After applying the Cross of Matter with Point-Combi on the Aggressive zones, my pictured looked like this:

The seizing in my arms and hands went away, I had a nice evening with my family, and my next bowel movement was more healthy in form.

The following morning my photo looked like this:

The pulling inward of the energy on the left and right little fingers indicate a need to address "pre-existence" (as mentioned above). However the downward lines suggest attachment, and, from the start, there were signs of conflict.

My reaction to the pre-existence treatment was to pause and then to go back to my notes, to understand these treatments better.

In doing so, I found the following handwritten note, at the top of the case study, presented for the cross of matter: "in the past, the client was fine to take medication to be able to function and die, now they want to rediscover their purpose" and "the eyes show indication that pineal has been blocked by medication".

It's interesting, as this was me, when I was on psychiatric medication for 10yrs for suspected bipolar disorder, and a friend/client recently asked me if I could detox the psychiatric medication that I took (to be able to function and die), and my response was "I'm not sure there is anything to detox, I think these drugs mostly just caused organ damage". Now I see, perhaps treating the pineal, which is included in the pre existence treatment that I applied, because my phenomena showed more on the right (the personality is having trouble letting go) than on the left (the person doesn't know their life plan). If the phenomena were more on the left, then the pre existence treatment would be paired with the thalamus instead (getting clues from life experience on where to go) as opposed to pineal (getting instructions from above, or the field).

Reading this makes me think of the documentsry "Crazywise", about how people who tend towards mental health issues and being able to see patterns in things are shaman (recognized and guided, to be used for the benefit of their community) in some cultures, and medicated (silenced, so as not to disrupt the mainstream status quo) in others.

As I opened my computer to write the "after pre existence treatment kicked in" portion of this article, I received an email bringing up an old conflict. A rupture caused by me recognizing something the other didn't want me to see, but that led to many gains and opportunities for growth, on my end, that were momentarily at risk of being taken away. Then my child called for me to come upstairs and, as I opened my phone to continue to write, there I found more conflicts.

It's interesting because the cross of matter is part of a set, with the cross of spirit and the cross of the soul. The cross of spirit implies that the flow of life information is being blocked. and the cross of the soul implies that conflicts and attachments are getting in the way. The cross of spirit and soul are indicated when issues impact the legs and feet (walking the right path, endocrine/toxic issues), while the cross of the body is indicated when issues impact the hands and arms (understanding, action, and karma, degenerative issues).

The cross of the soul may be my next subjective step (my feet hurt a bit too).

It is hard to move forward with the emotional pain created by conflict, dealing with the impact that my existence has on people in my life. It is far easier for me to accept concepts and apply theories, but I'm here to live them too.

The down side to having a kirlian photo that suggests a need for the cross of matter, is the development of systemic illness (such as MS or ALS). I have no desire to develop a chronic illness, and that's the main reason I keep metaphorically running (working on myself).

Several years ago, someone looked at my natal astrology chart and said "if you don't work on yourself, you are going to have serious health issues". I trained in astrology just to be able to see this for myself. I think this is why I feel I am here to heal generational trauma. Stress related illness and chronic dis-ease (like rheumatoid arthritis or insomnia) are what I inherit from my parents and pass down, if I don't learn to see and treat the signs of blocked guidance, so I can fulfill my life purpose, regardless of what my soul brought in as baggage, or what mainstream society does to many of us.

I am capable of resolving my conflicts, and I think I've resolved over half of what has come up for me this morning, while writing this article. The yucky feeling is a sign that something needs to be done, and not that it will always feel this way. The point of Esogetics (for me) is to listen to what our body is telling us, do what we know how to do to remove the blocks, pause and take action when there is clearer guidance.

Back to the "no-motors-projector, unique psychology, the long game" portion of the title for this article (which was decided upon before the pre existence treatment took hold)...

I am a projector with no defined motors in my human design. Prior to conception (pre existance) I chose to give up having my own source of energy, in order to be able to feel the energy of others. This is probably why I present as kapha, degenerative, freeze. I am conserving energy, watching what happens, instead of running (and hopefully not fighting any more than needed, as I pay the price with my health, or inability to move forward for a while, when I fight too much, in order to recover and learn my self care lessons).

However, I know the freeze has a rigid price to pay too. I need to move, some of the time, I can't always play dead (study and try to advance what I know and have to offer others) in the hope that the threatening other will go away.

In addition, my ability to respond quickly to many forms of treatment (which is the opposite of what one would expect from someone who photographs as a small degenerative, which generally means hard to move), is because I carry a physical goal and spiritual takent 20-2 ("an endless expander, builder in business, never satisfied, never retire." and "people who try anything, lots of classes, always looking for movement, experiential explorer") in my soul contract. The 20 specifically is about realizing that outer war (conflict) can only be resolved by cultivating inner peace. Having this in a goal or talent position means I am more than 2/3 of the way up the hill and motivated to capture this lesson. If I had it in a karmic position, that would mean that I am starting this lesson at the bottom of the hill, and might need to develop cancer in order to be able to understand. I think this is why my teacher was concerned to see my photo, she didn't know how much and how easily structures that appear rigid (in me) could move.

Having red the definition for my 20-2s, you're probably not surprised to hear that I am currently designing some tshirts, as an attempt to explain how my modalities fit together: what is the core concept, and what are the add-on supports.

At my core is: how to support sensitive kids and your life plan. Sometimes we have to support the body, to give the soul more time to grasp what he/she is here to do (Esogetics, RestoreChi, and my outside referrals). We are constantly surrounded by an energy field and guided by divine intelligence. I generally go to these realms (Divine Healing and the Information Field) when the person can not change the other. I.e., when we can't force the other to take supplements, see our perspective, or heal, we can change our perception and understanding of the situation (or them). This means that we can hold a strong and safe space for healing, which is the 10-1 in soul contract, my spriritual talent ("Ability to bring self into full soul consciousness, All the power is present. Powerful healers, very stable beings. Very focussed."). It's also reflected in the baffling behaviors body of work (mentioned in previous articles, and below).

The base of the information field is my core work, the heart, supporting sensitive kids, understanding and following our life plan.

On the shirts, I am using Esogetic spectral, soul-sprit, formative grey, poles of love and fear, and yin-yang balancing colours to reinforce these concepts. The way I am laying out the soul-spirit colours on the core tshirt also indicates being drawn because one seeks one piece of information, but staying longer when one realizes there is so much wisdom here, beyond what anyone could imagine before. Your wisdom, your family dynamic, your gift for healing, your unique psychology. This is also my soul destiny, 13-4 ("Here to share Christ Consciousness energies. Whatever you do in a goal is expanded, e.g. teaching => open centre=>affecting greater numbers people") in my soul contract.

So, great movement, resolving outer war through inner peace, listening to, supporting, and settling the physical body, to give us more time to grasp what we are here to do, and leveraging the information field, and spirit, as needed.

Often I want to apply a treatment, but before I get the chance to do it, life provides the needed shift for me, this is as intended. We only support when life experiences are not being recognized as opportunities for transformation.

I keep thinking about the baffling behaviors body of work (as mentioned above and before), and how beautiful it is. We can support each other, with no tools, just understanding, but we can also heal more than what people feel they need to suffer with in life. We benefit when we can weave both concepts in together, to form a supportive, integrative, whole, which I try to do with my practice.

I know many people will seek something else too, I have even been recommended to do so, based on what others do and know. That doesn't mean I have to or they have to, we all have our ways, too many is too many, and timing is everything.

I hope this helps.

As for the long game, I am referring to my soul-based willingness to get sick, in order to get better, so I can empathize, but not stay stuck, even to the point of crossing the veil, and coming back. I am a Scorpio sun sign, with Pluto conjunct Venus and my north node, after all, born under the cross of the unexpected. My other soul contract destinies are the 14-5 (scorpio-aries, "Probably producing material of spiritual nature, probably writing, channels will open. Often go through life with a series of intense relationships to find out who they are, can be very disorientating. Writing from there own experience, which is reflected back to them. So, eventually they channel new spiritual techniques after having walked the path of personal experience. They spend their whole life finding out who they are."), and the 7-7 ("to allow the unifying energies of god to come through the heart so that people are unified in groups and in themselves.").

May you know yourself, may you fall in love with your program, and what your children bring to you, to help you heal and learn, as much as I have, should this be your path.

This is my photo right after applying the pre existence treatment, and the next day, right after writing this article:

Collectively these show that the treatment worked and the gains were sustained. I used to check the titles for my articles to see if they were energetically aligned, now I can literally check my own energy, to see if I am energetically aligned.

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