• Alahnnaa Campbell

You can’t have 218 genders and the only option is to V

These topics come up together because we live in polarity/duality consciousness. When one ridiculous thing pops up, the opposite ridiculous thing must pop up to show contrast.



I just had a dream that I was back at a university dorm. I was trying to get a room for the night, to maybe to stay longer. I was wearing the university coat, even though I never got one, and they looked me over because they knew I was certainly not new. I was trying to get a room because I had written another paper about my abusive step father and this one more scientific than the last, many years ago. He was annoyed at whether the data were specifically going to identify him or if they were aggregate. The truth in this dream was I got rid of him, he went to jail, and he came back, and I still felt he deserved to go to jail, no matter what my mom accepts.


Waiting for me we’re two young men who wanted my explanation: who did I want to be with. Each wanted to “win me”. You can’t “win me”. The truth is, I love them both. I explained to them that I have multiple kids, so I am used to loving more than one, but, I also choose monogamy to make my family work, because this is more important to me than the hurtful world where people are dishonest and feelings change. We commit to things that matter. Not just because society says there is only one acceptable option. That is always the lie!


There are not just the learning abled and the learning disabled. There are not just multiple boxes of multiple intelligences, where we are each whatever percent of each one.


We are so unique in our expression, and yet the same. And we don’t need to Google to find others like us and make a flag to feel less alone. The truth is to just be the truth, your truth, or not.


My truth is I see absolutely no reason to V, and every reason to simply understand my self, my body, my health, and how to nurture health and illness. We naturally waiver into each of these states all the time, stagnation is illness, but you can always push the stagnanation to get flow again.



You can always be honest. Yes, people get hurt, because you are not exactly what they want, is that your fault? No. You are responsible for you. If you feels “you know, I really can’t be responsible for my health, this product seems to offer protection, and I rather that than putting in the effort to be a better person”, well, that is your choice, at a price. And my choice is also at a price, self-care is like tending to a garden. V-city is like buying a plastic tree, they collect dust because they are not alive, and the leaching chem-me-kills will probably k’ill us all! But, such is life.


I hope this helps. I come off as offensive to many. Because I am just being honest. Even honest moves and grows, as we agree to engage with life and grow.


You can be and do whatever you want, but it is preferable if you don’t hurt others. Forcing them to V is hurting them, mocking who they think they are is hurting them.


Before I got married I had a few options of 3-somes with men or women, but the truth was and is: I didn’t want to do what I felt these things would involve. That’s my truth. I didn’t mind kissing girls and their breasts are fine, but I am not interested in any form of oral sex. It’s just who I am. I am “straight” because it is what makes sense for me in terms of sex and having children. I am here to have children, and I chose the father of my kids because I was tired of getting hurt. He is a good father and a good husband and we fight a lot about what is right for the kids. Because we both care and value our intelligence. Am I too alternative, is he too mainstream? We’re in this together, for each other, and our kids.


In the end, it is about accepting the lessons put before you. Like one puzzle after another, how do you solve each one consciously?



Except, you can do this ^^ in real life, without buying these magazines meant to humor you, because they took all your life choice away.


My friend’s mother passed away. I am not going to the funeral, it makes it too hard for my husband, kids, me, and them (to explain all my limits and hesitations or just suck it up). I know the normal thing is to go. But I can’t find the door that makes it right. It can be almost right, but complicated and guilty, and that’s not right. I am not interested in these mainstream things or risks. Am I failing my friend or my kids, no, I am being honest. I do life this way. I let people down, to not let others down. I make life easy on some, because I understand their limits, despite their willingness to say yes, and many times they surprise me in being able to do more under fire.


There are times when things work, and times when it’s “close but no cigar”. Such is life, such is honouring all of it.


I hope this helps.


For so long I have accepted being hated, and some say “that creates my reality“. I think that is spiritual bullsh*t people say when they want to spiritually bypass (when they have learned a bit, but they haven’t walked enough, or at all, in the shoes to know better).


What creates my reality is the tone I use when I speak to people. If I write as though I hate the reader, you will read as though I hate you or the people you hate, if you align with me as a hater. And if you are lying to yourself, you will hate what I write, because I write truth, always.


I am here to heal the wound of denial, and that means to be all-seeing. And I see you, I see you when you lie to yourself, always have, always will. Mom.


And I have been hated for it.


And boy do they turn that up when they want everyone to do as they do, because they have science behind them. Except, they don’t.


They have mainstream me-dia behind them, and a very stupid or crooked gov-urn-ment. Whatever, whatever.


I am not interested in putting my children through the manipulation factory. I may not win this battle for ever. But every year they get to be them selves, with mama bear behind them saying ROAR, then that’s another year they have to experience and to remember they can say “actually, I do things this way”.



Yes, they can be an emotional mess, because truth is like that. We are an emotional mess.



We want A B and C even though we can’t have A and B. So we sit in that sh*t for a bit and take it out on others, until we learn skills, not to “regulate our emotions” (vomit, social programming, for the placated Stepford communities), but to understand them and to accept them and to say “this feels like f*cking a$$, but...” and whatever comes next, so long as it’s not a forcing me to do it.

They will grow out of it. There is NO forcing anyone to do anything!


I just got an email from: TherapistPortal, but all lowercase, so you can place your own word breaks: TheRapistPortal.


I deliberately chose non-mainstream psychiatry, because mainstream does NOT work, no matter how nice they all try to be, patting each other on the back, while they say their way is better because. We are not missing an artificial chemical, we are hurt and broken, and we need to fix that, but, apparently, according to this email, I am no different than mainstream, I am still a “rapist”, such is life.


In the intro photo, the truth is, there are no buildings in front or behind, your choice is not just left or right. The houses are only there because some people would be too scared if there were too many choices, either for you or them selves.


But that doesn’t change the fact that there continues to be all these choices AND all these obstacles from others and our selves, based on truth and how that makes us feel. There are also all forms of sledgehammers, and ways to go over, under, around, physically, mentally, aurally, or spiritually.


Honour truth, honour your self, accept the lesson behind the paper dragon houses, live your life. It’s what we’re here for, even if it’s hard. No one came to be spoon fed, let’s not insult the souls that we all are, even if many are acting very very very dumb, they went through the programming, send them love and move on, you don’t have to be dumb just because they are, and they believe “all of us together is stronger”, it’s not.

All of us being our true selves is something that many of us want to see, for the earth and for each other.


Because at our core, we are all kind, thoughtful, and amazing!


We only look otherwise because we were abused by our parents, family, each other, and the system, and that is something we can always heal.


So I guess the truth is: you can have 218 genders when the majority of people believe the only option is to V. Because they balance each other in the extremes.


Sending love 💕

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