Parenting Through Big Behaviours —
When Behaviour Has Become Unsafe, or You're Worried It Might

This page is for parents whose child's behaviour has become unsafe or is escalating. Before you book a consultation, we need to understand whether your child is at a point where direct work is possible, or whether we need to start with you first.

Ideally, we want to understand and help kids before their behaviour becomes something we are afraid of. But things can move quickly — one day the child is small enough to be picked up and taken to another room so they can calm down in a safer environment, and the next they have become stronger than we can contain.

What Big Behaviours Actually Mean

To work with me directly, a child needs to be able to follow basic instructions — like keeping their fingertips on the Kirlian camera for five seconds without lifting or touching anyone else and staying in a red lit dark room (parent can be with them too) for a few minutes while the film develops. This is usually around age four or five. And I need to be able to trust them to be safe around breakable, expensive, and irreplaceable equipment.

But the bigger question underneath all of this is: to what degree can we trust this child not to cause physical or property damage and is there anything we can do to lessen the risk?

Understanding Conduct-Related Labels

When people try to make a diagnosis for serious behaviour, they often find:

Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)

— linked to autism and driven by fear

Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)

— linked to ADHD and driven by mood and anger

Conduct Disorder

— the most severe form, approaching what would be considered criminal behaviour

The real questions people are asking when they try to make a diagnosis

To what degree can we trust this child not to cause physical or property damage? and
Is there anything we can do to lessen the risk?

What the Behaviour Is Really Saying

It is important to be grateful for the child who is raising a red flag. Something has gone wrong. Something needs to be made right. This work helps identify what.

When the parent starts to feel better, something shifts for the child too. Children are exquisitely attuned to whether their parents feel ok, because parents are their key to survival.

My work is not about behaviour management or getting a child to fit the system. It's about understanding, and making right, so the child can grow into their unique self.

Working with the Parent First

I know this feels like a luxury.

I know there are families out there who are in survival mode — big behaviours, no time, no money, no energy, no support. What I do can feel like a luxury most can't even imagine or allow into their lives. I do everything I can to help as many people as I can. But people need to see value and want help for this to work.

Sometimes the only possible starting point is to work with the parent first. When the parent feels better, they can start to wonder about their child's Unique Psychology. And when the child starts to feel like they are being heard — maybe then we can proceed to working with the child directly.

Naming what is wrong only helps when there is something safe to move toward.

Why I Can Speak to This

When my youngest entered public school I red-flagged her in a way that most parents would not. Standard procedure at the time was to accommodate the weak, not the strong. I tried to explain that the strong will hurt the weak if the needs of the strong go unmet. The teachers seemed to understand, but the administration did not. I decided to keep my child home until I could trust her not to hurt others — and in that time, I worked on helping her heal. This is what I have to offer clients too.

I grew up feeling like my needs weren't met. Having carried that for years and finally finding a way to let it go, I've realized that both positions (blaming others or feeling blamed) are lonely. No matter how a child is behaving, Esogetic Medicine can help, if they are able to respect the fragility of the equipment.

A Final Note

They say that girls go inward and boys go outward when something is not right. But the opposite is also true. All kids deserve help — even if at first we can only help their parents.

The child wants their parent returned to them whole more than anything else. There is nothing like when your child finally feels seen, understood, and supported by you — because your needs are met, and now you have room to hold space for them.

You are part of the dynamic that got you and your child to where you are now. Healing your part is what creates an opening for your child to be reached by someone else. The people the system sends, when things escalate further, will not be able to offer your child what you can, when you have healed.

What This Actually Looks Like

To understand more about what's underneath big emotional reactions (which often precedes big behaviours):

→ Parenting Through Big Emotions | Understanding Reactions

To understand how your child is built and what they need:

→ Parenting Through Everyday Struggles | Unique Psychology

For information on how we work with school integration and readiness:

→ Getting Your Child Ready to Integrate With the Community is Part of Your Healing Journey too

For the full framework of how Unique Psychology, Kirlian Photography, and Esogetic Medicine work together (when your child is ready):

→ When a Diagnosis Isn't Enough

If you are not local to Oakville and a Kirlian photo is out of the question right now:

→ Parenting Through Everyday Struggles — speaks to what is possible with knowing Unique Psychology alone (covering sleep, eating, school behaviour, gaming, self-care, anxiety, and more)

If you are getting to the point of wondering "is your child actually just sensitive?":

→ Parenting Your Sensitive Child — maybe part of what they are struggling with was laid down prenatally or at birth

Heard Enough to Speak in Person?

→ Book a free 15-minute consultation — let's talk about what's going on for you and what would actually help

To see what information is needed to access your child's Unique Psychology, and what to expect from your first session: → Prices and Session Options

Online sessions available worldwide. In-person sessions in Oakville, Ontario. Alahnnaa Campbell | MSc Psychology & Neuroscience, Stress and Health

Parenting Through Big Behaviours — When Behaviour Has Become Unsafe, or You're Worried It Might