My parents did the best they could. They were caught up in their own story.

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My dad was born at gunpoint. His mother took her life when he was four. Navigating a new blended family with his two younger brothers wasn't easy. My father lost my mother because the toll it took on their relationship, to bring over his stepmother and all her children after his dad died. His siblings still fight over words left unsaid.

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My mom was also abandoned at four. Her mother didn't know what to do with her when she didn't adjust well to her younger brother being born. No one recognized that she couldn't recognize faces until she was in her 40s. You can imagine how much anxiety she carried — especially given that her classmates caught onto her disability and would lead her into crowds and then hide so they could watch and laugh while she panicked. It was not fun to grow inside of her. Her brothers died from suicide/overdose and alcoholism.

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My parents split when I was two, just after my little sister was born. My mom had to work — and preferred it. We were raised by nannies. I often asked "why my mother had me if she didn't want to be with me."

 

I work with generational pain because I know it passes down the line. We're polite when we call it a diagnosis, but it doesn't have to be, if someone is willing to heal it.

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The break — and what makes me different from other alternative practitioners

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After surviving a suicide attempt at 15 — a near death experience, without anyone present or aware — I learned in my 40s that this was meant to be a walk-in, but my spiritual team asked me to stay on, because of the progress I had made — I had signaled that the world was ready for the new children coming in.

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Being hospitalized at 21 for another attempt landed me in a room with a mother who was engaging in self-harm. Seeing that she could be a mother (all I ever wanted) and still be unhappy signaled to me that suicide was not the answer. As I held space for her, I knew my role was to hold space for families.

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A manic episode at 25 made me lose touch with reality and I could no longer work. I went back to school — studying how chronic stress leads to physical illness. I emerged with an MSc in Psychology and Social Neuroscience, specializing in Stress and Health. But had to leave when chronic stress, from social anxiety and repeated heartbreak, combined with an anti-malaria vaccine, tipped me into major depression.

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I medicated for a decade. This brought me peace and dullness for the first time in my life. I stopped writing. I was able to get married and have a child. Being on an academic path was preventing me from having a family, this is what my depression was asking me to fix. My depression lifted for good the day my son was born.

 

A decade of medication, fertility treatments, epidurals, and inducing the birth of my children (earlier and earlier each time) was not a failure — even if I can see the toll these choices made. I needed to rest before I could release the scaffolding and rebuild. This safe container was missing from my childhood.

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It can still take me years to implement what I know I need to do. This is what makes me different from other alternative practitioners. I don't force people to do what I think is right. I look at their Unique Psychology and try to understand why want to do what they are naturally doing. It's a winding road, we make mistakes to learn important things, that we can not learn any other way. I found the tools I offer today (and know how they work) because this is what became available to me. Forcing myself and forcing my kids creates more chronic stress and damages the relationship more than just allowing what is needed until it becomes easier to shift. This is the essence of my parent-child work.

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My kids have been my guides

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Soon after my son was born, it became clear that nobody was going to be happy if I tried to parent him the way most people parent their kids.

 

When I became pregnant with my second child I was so ill that most days ended with me lying alone in the fetal position wanting to die. My symptoms were so strange that conventional medicine had nothing for me. So I found alternative practitioners and spiritual teachers. ​It was clear, before she was born, that she was leading me to find everything I would need to parent her and her brother more effectively.

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By my third pregnancy, I was carrying the accumulated load of years of medication, synthetic hormones, and everything my body had been through. RestoreChi saved my life on many occasions. I could heal at home, without disrupting or scaring my kids.

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What I feel (and what I share) as my other guide

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The other guide has been how I feel — both in my body and in response to the peer review process that this work has become.

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I have a research background. Part of my Human Design is to have an investigative mind and a body that learns by trial-and-error. My Soul Contract carries the lesson to learn more about myself through karmic relationships with others and to be a teacher of teachers at the highest level, bringing this work out to society at large.

 

Funded research is limited to sharing only what keeps the funding going. I share what I see, not to violate trust, in part to show what is possible, and also to see if the pattern I observed continues to hold true, when it is fully fleshed out and public. How I feel after I have shared something online, lets me know if I need to dig deeper - my own form of peer-review.

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I am the living work. What I feel runs through my body — I wake with clinical insight. I share the patterns I see, because they are universal, not owned by the person who made me start to see them. This is what studying various aspects of Unique Psychology has made obvious. There are only so many storylines, everything else is just a variation of the basics.

 

If something I say lands close to something unresolved in you, I am open to grow, as you offer me more than the perspective I can presently see. We are in this together, healing together. What I see in you can help another.
 

How this work found me

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What I offer came to me from England, Germany, France, Spain, the United States, and China. People working on different continents, in different languages, building different things to be integrated here. Where one explains, the other shows you how to treat. They feed each other. I found them because I was following my Unique Life Plan.

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What I believe

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What holds people back is not their mental or physical illness — it's their unwillingness to let things go, to understand their unique self-care needs, and to take better care of themselves. We are all a work in progress.

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The body doesn't malfunction randomly. Children don't struggle without reason. The symptoms, the patterns, the recurring conflicts — they are all communication. Always specific, always accurate, always pointing at something that we need to see, if we want to get better.

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My job is not to silence the communication, it's to help you read it.

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I am here for those who came to grow. To forgive themselves, to forgive their parents, to understand, to heal — and to save their kids from the programming of trying to be like everyone else.

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I see the potential, the pain, and the gift in every person who finds their way here.

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It's not for everyone. It's for you if it’s Your Life Plan.

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Wondering how long this kind of work actually takes? 

→ See my timeline — 37 years to break, 11yrs and counting for true healing to take hold