Guilt is something many of us are raised to use as a motivation to be "better people". But guilt is insidious! And many people do not move forward when they feel guilty, but instead wallow in their guilt as a way of punishing themselves for not living up to "expectations" or as a way to try to gain sympathy from others for their "woe is me" state.
Instead of simply noticing "wow, I feel guilty, lets re-evaluate what is going on here, is there something else I could/should be doing right now, or am I already doing what is in my best interest (taking care of my self-care needs, even if someone else might disagree from their outside point of view)", and then, once this evaluation has been made, dropping the guilt!
Chronic guilt will literally kill you!
Look at the Scale of Consciousness (table on this page). Any state below 200 breeds and feeds illness! Any state at or above 200 supports health and healing!
This is why it is critical to release Guilt and to NEVER use strategies below 200 to motivate anyone!
This includes your children, those you love, and people you don't even like.
Yes, it is very inconvenient when you can not Force your child or others to do what you want, BUT, although my husband is famous for saying "these kids don't listen!", do you know who else they are not listening to? "People who may pressure them to drink, do drugs, hurt others, violate what they want to do or what is in their best interest, and get into situations that could harm or kill them".
Out of respect and love for ourselves and our kids, we need to drop guilt, shame, and all other states and strategies below 200 (including pride and desire).
If you are ready to let go of feeling guilty about any part of who you are, if you are ready to accept yourself, so you can finally step towards your true, unique potential, if you are ready to find ways to raise your kids with more respect for their health, unique psychology, and life path...
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Here are some articles that I wrote on this topic: