Why working with kids is different

When working with kids, we are always working with the family unit — not just the child in isolation. A child is also still developing, which means expectations change as they get older. We are trying to get them to a place where they can learn how to function in society with their unique sensitivities, limits, needs, and gifts intact.

Adults tend to enter alone, having already figured out how to navigate society, but wanting to claim parts of themselves that they may have lost along the way. The urgency and the surrounding support system that naturally exist for a child are less present when an adult comes alone — which is why the work looks different, even when the tools are the same.

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Not local to Oakville?

Don't worry — Unique Psychology (available online) can provide a lot of insight into you and your child's design: their emotional system, learning style, sensitivity level, life lessons, how they need to eat, sleep, make decisions they can trust, and what the adults around them can do differently — without an in-person visit. For many families, this alone creates a meaningful shift. Go here to see many examples (and read below so you know what is also possible if we can get access to a Kirlian photo)

→ Parenting Through Everyday Struggles | Unique Psychology.

And read the rest of this page to see what else becomes possible when we can also take a Kirlian photo.

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​A diagnosis names the pattern. It does not explain the cause (different for each person), which allows us to meet the need and reduce the symptoms.

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If you are looking for someone to get you what you feel you deserve because your child has a diagnosis, am not the right fit. I understand that you are exhausted, you did everything you thought you were supposed to do, jumped through all the hoops, to advocate for your child, this is why I am trying to offer you something new. An opportunity to finally understand what you have always been able to sense, so that you can provide a space where your child— and by extension, yourself and your family — can heal, while helping the people around you (including the school) become more understanding and supportive of what you are going through. Your child’s life path is deliberately interwoven with yours and theirs.

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The difference between these two approaches looks like this:

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"I am angry and I am entitled to be"

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"Let's start over. What's wrong? How can we fix it? When will my child be ready to try again?"

Both responses are understandable. Only one of them moves things forward.

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Why early support matters more than the label

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The real problem with all the conditions listed in the title (and more) is what happens when the child is not understood when they are young enough that we can still physically intervene when things escalate. A small child having a destructive meltdown can be carried out of the room, a larger stronger child cannot. The early years is when it is critical for us to learn when our kids still have enough capacity to be reasoned with, when they can handle a challenge and when they are approaching their limit — and the school needs to know this too, so they do not make things worse. This is not just so that their needs are met, but so that they know they exist in an environment that is trying to understand (not just trying to override).

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I hope you have had the opportunity to see the gifts that come with all of the conditions listed in the title and more. The goal is to keep these gifts and reduce the friction, so that more unique beings can navigate this world, in their own way, on their own terms. Accommodation without healing leaves the child dependent — but there are options for parents who want to do more.

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What this work can do

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This work does not promise to fix your child. It promises to help your family understand your child well enough to hold space for their difference.

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Inside Felt Safety comes first. When the adults around the child start to understand how the child feels on the inside and why, they naturally create a more regulated environment for the child to exist in, which gives them room to grow. Their sensitivity stays — because what they can perceive is information. When what the child perceives is normalized, overwhelm and friction reduces, because the child can learn to pace themselves, take breaks, process, find a better fit, etc. Being sensitive is a gift, it is not something to be ashamed of. A person of any age who can become wise with what they feel, rather than overwhelmed by it, does not need to escalate to be heard.

 

The Kirlian photo is the evidence layer. It shows the school, the grandparents, the skeptical partner — anyone who needs to see it — how severe what the child is experiencing may be, it is real, visible, not a behaviour choice. This changes the conversation from "why won't your child just behave" to "I can see what is happening inside them and here is what they need right now."

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And when we are lucky enough to be able to work with the family, we get to address something bigger, because there is always a parent to child pattern, what is unresolved in the parent lives in the child. This is not blame, just like we don’t blame a symptom that comes to the surface if we know that it is doing so to flag that an organ underneath is in need of support. We can release parent and child from the burden the family has been carrying for generations.

 

How I can help

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• Unique Psychology — shows you how your child is built, what they need, what depletes them, and what the adults around them can do differently.

• Inside Felt Safety (via Kirlian photography) — shows when your child is regulated, when they are not, what this may feel like for them, and what triggers the shift. It gives you something to show the people around you, so they can understand rather than judge.

• The family system — because a child with any of the conditions listed in the title and more often has a parent with the same or a contributing condition or history, there is the potential to heal everyone because the wounds of childhood still live in our adult selves, we are all still looking for recognition, validation (which is why diagnosis sometimes feels good, but its not enough). As mentioned above with the body/symptom metaphor, a child that struggles is raising a flag that their family needs help, something doesn’t feel safe. It is possible that this feeling started in utero and looking at what the mother's body may be carrying could improve her life, not just her child's.
  it may be the inside of their mother’s uterus, addressing this could save her life.

• Treatment — using Esogetic Medicine, RestoreChi, the Information Field, sometimes Divine Healing we start to change perception of what is going on, new options open up, and then body and mind get to relax because needs are being met. As information accumulates, we are able to have more compassion, which means we can help the school have more compassion too. Making more safe spaces for the child to grow into.

 

The goal is not a child who fits the system. It is a child who gets to keep their sensitivity and becomes wise with what they feel — and a family that knows how to hold space (and get others to continue to hold space) for that process, so the child doesn’t have to figure it out alone.

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When you allow a sensitive person to heal and keep their sensitivity, they become a gift to the world, with their unique perspective.

 

To learn more:

→ Parenting Through Big Emotions
→ Felt Safety and Kirlian Photography

→ Book a free 15 minute consultation — let's see how far you can go.