Blocking vs Supporting Healing and Healthy Boundary Negotiation
Updated: 4 days ago
This is the third article in a series that grew out of Understanding and processing the story of your excess weight is the only way to heal it.
There were actually two other side steps that are not included in the diagram above; The Valuable Detour: Healing the Parent-School Dynamic and A Kinder Approach to Transition and the "Talkative" Child. Those tangents are more specific to my story, the diagram above includes aspects that apply to anyone: the tendency for our body to react to things that we have yet to heal (The Resonating Practitioner: Redefining Somatic Work Through Embodied Experience), and, sadly, how common it is for people to break a bone or tooth when undergoing treatment (Beyond the Fracture: Transforming Physical Breaks into Conscious Shifts).
In this article, I want to highlight what happens when we don't take into consideration the bigger Esogetic picture.
It is natural to try to force or suppress what we don’t understand, because we are all naturally afraid of the unknown and it seems like the experts know more than we do. Thankfully, even if we make a mistake, the same methods that would have helped us avoid it can be used to help us resolve it. Let me explain...
When childhood symptoms get misinterpreted
When kids react to things that happen at school, some people say "just push them through it, those symptoms have absolutely nothing to do with what we are doing", and other people say "OMG pull them back, the system is hurting our kids".
The truth is in the middle. Our kids need to be able to venture out to where the other kids and families are AND they need to be able to do so in a way that allows them to negotiate their unique boundaries. We need to give kids more autonomy over how integration is done, which means going at a slower pace AND we need to see their symptoms (e.g., a sore ear, a scraped knee, dark circles under their eyes, which Esogetics ties to the kidneys) as a request for support, so they can hold their center AND take on something that is just at the edge of their window of tolerance.
Practitioners, educators, and parents aren't malicious. The dentist who offers to straighten your teeth, keep them straight, or stop the damage from grinding is working within their area of expertise and what they can provide. Outside of their area of expertise, it is up to us to understand what is and is not helpful.
In Esogetic Medicine, development (throughout life) is an ongoing dialogue between fear and freedom, between the instinctive impulse to pull back and narrow in self-protection and the courage to step forward out into the world.
In Esogetic terms, the knee joint symbolizes taking a step out onto our unique life path or pulling back out of fear. The ears are the primary sensory organ for absorbing the tension of outside demands, social structure, and territorial boundaries.
In Esogetics, when a young child faces a sudden increase in outer pressure (e.g., longer school hours, having to do well at something that is hard without their primary attachment), their lymphatic system acts as a buffer for what they cannot process consciously. This is why I wrote: Back-to-School Sinus Congestion: What Your Child’s Body Is Trying to Tell You
Rather than suppressing symptoms to force rigid compliance, Esogetics offers a way to support what needs to be released. Honoring a person’s physical reactions allows them to continue to negotiate healthy boundaries, so they can meet the outer world's demands without surrendering who they truly are at their center (it may seem odd, but in Esogetics, symptoms are an attempt to restore health and balance, not a departure from it, more on this below).
Twenty-four hours after I applied a quick series of Esogetic treatments, for my daughter’s ears, knees, and kidneys (fear), she said spontaneously on our way to school: "my ear doesn't hurt anymore, I feel more confident, my legs feel like they can run, yesterday they were hurting and slowing me down".
The same tool that can be used in childhood to help a child navigate difficulty can be used in adulthood to restore what went wrong
In Esogetic Medicine, there are brainwave induction programs designed for stresses that happen between the ages of 6 and 9, and 9 and 12. They are designed to help kids navigate these stages well. The same programs can also be used by adults who still carry unresolved wounds from these periods of childhood. It is not our parents' fault that they didn't know what they didn't know, but we can do better now, with what we know.
What we reach for matters
In Esogetics, rigid appliances (braces, retainers, night guards) and the things we reach for to help us cope (alcohol, coffee, sleeping pills, psychiatric meds, and comfort food) can block the lymphatic and detox flow that the body needs. We turn to these things because, collectively, as a society, we don’t trust our body to do what it needs to do and then return to its center.
After my braces came off, they put in a bar to hold my bottom front teeth together. I had it removed, and they gave me a nighttime retainer to wear instead. Wearing it caused a lot of problems for my back teeth, so I stopped wearing it and let my front teeth go a bit crooked. Then my back teeth were fine.
When I was given a night guard to protect my teeth from grinding, the excess phlegm in my head and throat drained down into my body, leaving itchy skin on my torso as the only exit for these toxins. My dentist’s office couldn’t validate this reaction because, as I wrote about in Beyond the Fracture, they focus on the physical, and my phlegmatic reaction had psycho-social-emotional components to it.
And recently, when I went in to have my dentist fix a chipped tooth, he took it upon himself to close a “food trap”. It has been difficult for me to recover from this addition to my mouth because, in Esogetics, small spaces between the teeth help the lymph clear toxins through the gums. It’s not my dentist's fault that he didn’t know.
What coffee taught me about exits
Schools, parents, and dentists aren't the only ones who turn to force and suppression; we also do it to ourselves, usually for the same reason: we don't know any other way.
We reach for things because we need a break. Life can be hard, and that isn't a moral failure. But if we're working toward something that isn't easy to achieve, we may be more open to change when we discover that what we are doing is making things harder.
I love coffee, but I've cut it from my life (for the most part) because I tend to get "withdrawal headaches". That said, coffee often helps me clear a headache too, so I allow it once in a while, and I just recently found out why this works for me (and what would be more effective):
I always assumed coffee opened the blood vessels in my head, allowing the pressure to release. The medical explanation is the opposite (caffeine narrows the blood vessels in the head, and headaches return when the vessels widen again). This is in line with what Esogetic Medicine shares too. Esogetics adds that: coffee prevents liver heat from rising into the head, but it also increases liver heat, so when the coffee wears off, liver heat rises again, causing what I assumed to be "coffee withdrawal headaches". What I really needed was a way to help liver heat find another exit (so it doesn't go up into my head).
Psychiatric meds and nasal sprays can block exits too
I used to have major depression, and when I did, I cried a lot. Since I started taking psychiatric medication, and even 10 years after coming off it, I still don't cry very easily (and when I do, it can be physically painful).
There are many reasons someone might choose to stay on or come off psychiatric medication. I share this here only because I feel like taking psychiatric medication took away a powerful detox exit for me (crying), leaving me with limited options, especially considering that I don't sweat or vomit easily either. All I have left for detox exits are: temperature shifts, sinus pain (that I mistake for headaches), throat phlegm, deep sighs, sudden tiredness, bowel movements, and dreams.
With limited exits, pressure has fewer places to go, making my (sinus) headaches even more severe and difficult to clear.
I used a lot of nasal spray when I was pregnant with my kids. It took Esogetic treatment for me to realize that my chronic congestion during pregnancy was related to earlier reproductive traumas. In Esogetics, there is a strong connection between the uterus/ovaries and the sinuses and a symptom we suppress doesn't just go away; it goes deeper. And because it is buried so deep for so long, when it reopens, it can be painful. Sooner or later, we need to process what happened. Esogetic treatment helps us connect the dots, so we can appreciate what happened and let it go.
My Kirlian photo shows a tendency toward liver heat rising to the head and beta brainwave burnout. In Esogetics, being too much in your head can work against letting your body release old unresolved trauma.
We all get to decide if and when we are ready to shift from coping to trying to find new ways to understand and give our body what it needs.
Clearing old trauma, or detoxing your coping mechanisms?
Esogetic Medicine relies on the liver and lymphatic system to clear out what treatment helps the body release. Adding alcohol and comfort food (including coffee or medication) means these systems have to choose which job to do less well.
Protecting sleep in a way that supports healing
When I wake up at night, I have a rule not to get up and work before 5am.
If my mind is trying to share ideas with me, I listen, and then I focus on what will help me sleep, heal, or detox. I reach for things that wake me as little as possible: RestoreChi or an Esogetic brainwave program, maybe some self-massage.
I only add Esogetic colour light therapy at night if I think it can’t wait until the day, because I want to prioritize sleep.
I no longer get up to take RestoreChi detox baths, listen to Esogetic Sound Therapy, or walk around to generate internal heat or better circulation, because the RestoreChi specialty tracks now address detox and internal heat. I might add an extra layer or heating pad for warmth, but I don't listen to, watch, or read something as a distraction from not being able to sleep. In Esogetic terms, doing so would shift me into brainwave states that are not compatible with healing, and give me more to process and recover from.
Sleep is required for healing, detox, rejuvenation, integration, and conflict resolution. In Esogetics, taking medication to induce sleep skips the opportunity to heal (restoring healthy brain rhythms, the middle step in the diagram below), moving us straight from cause to consequence:
Everything is just looking for an exit, and our body communicates to us through symptoms to tell us what it needs help with.
Esogetic and RestoreChi treatments can also affect sleep
When old trapped emotional energy, trauma, or conflict is released, our thalamus and other parts of our brain need to rapidly sort and process it. If we take medication to try to restore our sleep, we interrupt this process, and as a result, what was trying to clear can get pushed deeper into the solar plexus and tissues of the body. If we can rest and just let it happen, this clearing can often finish on its own.
If it gets to be too much, there are Esogetic treatments, including brainwave programs that mirror healthy rhythms between theta (emotional processing) and delta (physical cell renewal), helping the nervous system integrate big shifts as we sleep.
The treatment that triggered difficulty sleeping can also be paired with additional Esogetic treatment, to allow us to continue to make progress in a way that respects our unique limits and needs.
Mainstream medicine tends to see loss of sleep only as a problem to fix, but stopping treatment that triggers lack of sleep can mean missing out on something that was working in a way that few other approaches can do. With added understanding and support, we can get through the process so we can enjoy the benefits.
Reactions to treatment are useful information
This is something I had to get used to hearing from my clients, because it can sound like a complaint or blame when it doesn't have to be taken that way, especially when we have access to Esogetic wisdom and treatments to help us navigate it.
If you decide to ease off any medication or substance you take regularly, it is important to do so with professional support beyond what I have to offer, so you can taper off safely and minimize withdrawal symptoms.
What helped me clear my head/sinus pain
Coffee helped a bit, but what allowed me to hold my gains was running a brainwave induction program at the bottom of my sinuses and the sides of my neck that, in Esogetics, is meant to stop stress from converting into a weakened immune response. Running this program moved the attempt to detox my liver heat (or maybe even old grief from what happened to me in the past) from my sinuses (causing head pain) to my chest and throat (a more natural and less painful site for release). I also wore the RestoreChi specialty tracks over my spleen and liver, to help them detox on site, along with a heating pad over my uterus (because of the sinus-uterus connection, that I mentioned above).
The next time I woke with head pain, after eating a meal too high in fat, running a shorter brainwave program (meant to support the neuroglia to detox and send nutrients to the brain) below my sinuses and at the side of my neck helped a bit, but after holding a session for a client, the pain returned and was even into the thumb side of my right arm. I applied coloured light to a few spots to support my liver and gallbladder and then ran the same short neuroglia program on the front of my ankles and the back of my calves (to ground the liver heat, pulling it further from my head) and slowed the pace of my work (because over-thinking puts us in beta overdrive, which can also increase liver heat).
The result
I can now sleep until 830am, sometimes even 10am, even if I wake briefly at 5am or am woken by an alarm.
Brainwave programs are an add-on
Whether it’s navigating issues in childhood, issues with sleep, or head pain, brainwave programs are something we can turn to, because in Esogetics, dysregulated brainwave patterns often underlie how we get sick.
That said, there is much more we can do when we have access to other aspects of Esogetic Medicine too.
Like RestoreChi, Esogetic brainwave programs are an add-on. They can make a big difference, even as a stand-alone, but I wouldn’t skip what the rest of Esogetic Medicine can do, because it is more complete.
For me, it’s about pacing: Esogetic Medicine can give us a big push, RestoreChi and Esogetic brainwave programs can help us digest and process what comes to the surface, which is what allows our life to shift for the better.
People reach for the tools they have
Looking back at this series, we can see a recurring theme. Excess weight can be the body trying to protect something. A strong reaction to treatment can be the body trying to release something. A bone or tooth can break because the body is letting go of something it has held for a long time. When we reach for things to cope, from night guards to coffee, we can make things worse, because what we reach for can block a needed exit. When an exit is blocked, this creates more pressure, which often results in more pain.
Our body is trying to communicate with us, and we have the choice to keep doing what we've been doing, or to get curious about what our body really needs and ask for an Esogetic explanation, so we can help instead of inadvertently making things worse.
Recognizing my daughter’s symptoms as a pattern allowed me to support rather than suppress her needs.
We force when we don't know better; we allow when we can recognize what is happening and we know what to do. Seeing the big (Esogetic) picture allows us to trust the process: the body knows what it is doing, and we can help.
We all want to be good parents, and none of us want to be sick. How we get there depends on what we know.
If it is of interest to you to know more, book a free 15-minute consultation.
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