Every lesson between us is yours and mine

This article has been on hold for a while, I was just waiting for the right pieces to come together. A couple days ago I started watching Eli Stone on Disney+ Canada. I find it interesting how so many people are interested in seeing that everything is connected, we see what we need to see when we need to see it, in order to find our life path, and heal our unresolved wounds. And unfortunately, like Eli Stone, I seem to experience learning through pain, in order to know how to help my clients.

In fact, I have been on a journey on healing my right arm, what I have worried might be the start of rheumatoid arthritis or fibromyalgia, worsened by lack of sleep, the legacy I inherit from my mother.

I have a defined spleen in Human Design, which suggests that I should not feel other people's symptoms, I have my own intuition and I don't cling. It is true that I have learned not to cling, there was no one to cling to after my parents split up. But I very much take on a small part of my client's symptoms (or struggles), so I can understand what it is like and how to resolve it. For a while I thought this was because of my natal moon on my ascendant and my plethora of planets in the 6th house (to learn through the body, among other things) in my Natal Astrology, but it could also be the connective tissue (hypermobility) and low blood pressure disorder, that I inherited from my mother (and maternal grandmother, who died of a weak heart). Paired with varicose veins and cellulite, I am hyper mobile and things get stuck. This would explain my atypical reaction to some of the RestoreChi Monthly and Specialty tracks and the joint and karma treatments in Esogetic Medicine. I am not the only one to react this way. Others, who are trying to outrun illness down their mother's line, who are highly sensitive, who have elevated blood pressure or congestion might too. Which is why there has been an addendum to how we apply the specialty tracks using a gradual approach, see what Kevin has to say in: Using the new RestoreChi Dampness Release Water Card to step into the RestoreChi Monthly and Specialty Tracks

Prior to having what I have shared above to say, I was going to mention Code 3 on Netflix, which seems like it would be a comedy/mockumentary, especially starring someone who was in The Office, and in a way this is not much different, as he is still disgruntled about his job. But what struck me is that "we are all on borrowed time" when we heal, so we have to keep up the maintenance, and even so, "there are those who seem to do everything right and they still die suddenly", there is such thing as our time and what is on the surface is not the same as what's beneath (which is the degree to which someone is engaging with their life plan). Some plans are easier and some are less socially acceptable. In a social world, that can make these lives feel hard. We may want to give into being petty, but if our lesson is to stay above it and challenge our selves, we need to do so or we will suffer. Blaming others is easy, and it can feel good, but it doesn't help.

The other thing that I found interesting in Code 3 was how they were explicit about the lack of regard for different levels of health care: The ER doctor puts down the Paramedic for not doing his job right or overstepping what he feels he is allowed to do, mostly because the Paramedic is bringing the doctor more work. And, when a Paramedic quits on his first day, the veteran Paramedic says "there goes a future doctor" (because he believes "doctors stay in the hospital and don't go out into the streets where the risks can be higher and the gratitude and pay is less"). I feel this too: In my home, seeing one client at a time, giving them attention as a paramedic would, but not in the streets. We all set up the environment in which we can work best. If we are lucky enough to know that this is what we are meant to do.

AI would say that the link between what I have to say and the Tin Man (imaged above) is that if you stop moving, you seize. The reason I pulled in this image is because this is what it feels like for me to run the Specialty RestoreChi tracks (before the addendum I mentioned about): I seize, then it releases and I get better, but being exposed to the tracks for too long — even if I am not the one wearing them — causes the congestion in my body to go to my head, which causes pain (thankfully I have learned how to relieve it, see below).

I don't believe in the mainstream model that you need to push or you will never get back on the horse, I think if our body asked us to dismount, the horse may not have been right for us to begin with, or we needed to learn how to ride it in a way that doesn't land us in dis-ease (more on this below). That said, my old tendency to stop moving when pain sets in is also wrong, because movement is needed for pain to come out, otherwise it settles in deeper.

To clear the pain that collects in my head (so it doesn't last for days), I use an Esogetic protocol that includes a restorative sleep brain wave program, as I found this program (to restore the body) works better than the Gamma-40 program (to detox the brain), even though the pain is in my head, it comes from my body.

On the topic of "no one was there to oil him", that is the dilemma that many of us, who are providing a very unique service, experience: we can't always receive what we are able to give to others, the pain we experience prevents us thinking straight and some treatment areas are out of reach. But we can ask others to help, either with their modality or ours.

Pain is not the only thing I take on from my clients, I also tend to realize that we are in the same boat. When a client is attempting a return to work after taking a couple years off to heal from a diagnosis, I realized that I am also returning to work after being sick in my 2nd pregnancy, then finding Unique Psychology, knowing that I would not be able to grasp it unless I did this for a living, and then after seeing clients for a couple years, ending up pregnant and sick again, still seeing clients with a newborn (which did more damage to my parent-child health than I realized), then covid hit, with 3 young kids to take to an alternative school, and then finally realizing that my 3rd had special needs and could not enter school reliably until she was 6.5 years old (most kids start at 3/4yrs old). I didn't mind, but it did set me back several years, and now I am trying to find a way to serve, not only my clients, but my own self-care limits, my kids, my husband, what reduces their stress, brings me joy, and contributes at least in a reasonable way to the bills. I was only capable of working part-time before having kids, because of my sensitivity and mental health, and now taking on my clients' problems, plus my own, it's a lot to carry, more than most are supposed to. It takes time to find the right balance, where every aspect gets served, but this is my greatest challenge and Evolution in my Gene Keys.

A final note: Paying out of pocket is something many people dread. They want to use their benefits. The problem is, many alternative services covered under benefits also want to capture your $500. This leads them to provide packages that use up your benefits, but don't really get you to where you need to be to heal (not to mention, you end up with a lot of services that don't include a person providing them, because this is easier for them to scale). A far better model is to pay out of pocket, for what you need and what works. In Canada, many health expenses paid out of pocket can be claimed as medical expenses on your tax return — worth checking with your accountant to see what qualifies. This way, you don't get caught in the game, of ending up with a whole lot you don't need, that doesn't serve, and not enough to meet your needs. We are not here to get rich and to hoard money. That is fear. We are here to help each other, to learn, to grow, and to break even, if we can.

The benefits model is a remnant of the push-through culture — the idea that if you stop, you'll never get back up, but there are so many other ways to do life. My youngest currently feels like she is not very smart because she "didn't go to kindergarten". Some of her classmates were ready and some of them were pushed. We met her other needs first. Her siblings both emerged as readers when they were 9yrs old, she turns 7 soon, and still has lots of time. School wants kids to read at 4, 5, or 6yrs of age, but this doesn't make it the natural and normal trajectory. She will get there when she gets there, either by being taught or by the skill simply emerging, just like speaking and walking, when we try to teach it, we often end up with a disorder.

I've only read The Smart Cookie and The Good Egg from this book series (which includes even more than what is shown in this photo):

...and I think, in a way, that's the problem. Any of us can feel like any of these depending on how our family, class, friends, co-workers typecast us and what we choose to believe. We all come from different upbringings, different values, different ways to discipline. For a long time I was the only one I thought was right. But, there are so many variables that I don't know when I am judging others. Everyone is doing the best they can, to raise their kids in a way that they think will help their kids out most. Of course, many parents are tainted by the excess unresolved baggage they are carrying, but we all are, letting these things go in a way that allows us to learn is the purpose of life.

Slow and steady, honest feedback, what is stiff, what helps it move once again. We are all Tin Men, trying to make progress in life, with different life plans and circumstances, and a lot of overlap, so that we can learn from each other. In fact, we are drawn to each other, when our lessons are close enough, to be a fit.

Here’s and oldie, but a goodie: Society Isn't Going to Drop You If You Decide to Colour Outside the Lines

And here is where I am at now (May 13th, 2026):

With going to the gym most days a staple in my routine, I am noticing that there are people who focus on the body (fitness instructors who focus on building strength, making the body look good, keeping it functional) and there are people who focus on psychology and spirituality (me). And it is best if we visit each other's domain regularly, to make sure out health is well-rounded.

As I allude to in Using the new RestoreChi Dampness Release Water Card to step into the RestoreChi Monthly and Specialty Tracks, low blood pressure is no better than high blood pressure — both are out of balance.

I see a lot of people who slap on a knee or arm brace so they can keep going. I took time out and got stiffer. The solution is somewhere in the middle: doing strength training classes to build support around my joints, to earn the ability to participate in activities that assume the joints will not hyper extend (like aquafit, rowing, boxing, even dancing and yoga etc). I may want to go fast, but my right arm, knee, left ileo-sacrum joint, and pelvic floor tell me when I hit my limit. So does stiffness from jumping into typing before engaging in physical exercise, or the ocean in my stomach that wakes me at night, telling me that I still have not fully learned what I can and cannot eat, and how.

Stay tuned for: Following the Pain — From the Foot to the Shoulder to the Heart (What the Little Finger and Index Toe Are Trying to Tell You)