The Longer Intro Story (of why I do what I do)...
This is the second version of the story that I used to have on my homepage. I have moved it here for those who really want a longer story, and have updated the story on my homepage to reflect more where I am at now, and what I can do for my clients/readers.
"This story used to be very different. I used to list my 3D achievements - my degrees, my impressive jobs, etc. To try to show you that I could play the 3D game too, but that’s not important to me now. We all have a story. There is no comparison. No story is better or worse than another. There’s no competition, nor do I have the need to catch sympathy from others.
Love, healing, and acceptance is an inside job.
I share my story only so the right people can see if they recognize part of their experience in mine, as a way to show you what I have learned to get myself out of, and what I have visceral experience of in this lifetime, in order to be able to empathize with what you may have been through.
My parents did the best they could. They were caught up in their own stuff. My dad grew up without a mother (due to family pressure, and an inability to please everyone, she took her life when he was only 4yrs old, leaving behind my father and his two younger brothers). My dad had to learn to navigate life on his own. My mom was also abandoned at age 4, when her brother was born and her mom “did not know what to do with her” - those were literally her words. So she left my mom to cry, kicking and screaming, on the floor, for an entire summer. These are the highlights.
My parents split when I was 2yrs old.
Because my dad never had a mother, he let my mom take me and my younger sister. My mom was a single parent and had to work, but she also preferred work over being with her kids, so, we were raised by nannies. I felt very alone, and often asked “why did my mother have me, if she didn’t want to be with me?”. But this wasn’t the worst of it.
Because of the absence of parents, a predator was able to come into our family. If you’ve seen the movie series “Stepfather”, you get a glimpse into what this man was like, working through family after family. Except my stepfather was much more insidious and manipulative, and found ways to never leave a physical mark, and got me to attack myself, keeping his hands “clean”.
It took me years to find a way to get rid of him, and when I did, there was no thanks, only blame, and laughter when I fell down. So I turned the anger on myself and was suicidal for years. Some people say I may have Stockholm Syndrome because I do not harbor as much anger towards this man as I should. I was more upset that I was insecure enough that he could break me down. I used to watch his mother sit on the stairs and watch her son, a monster, do what he did to our family and say “yeah, he’s just like his father”, with some regret in her voice, she still allowed it to happen.
This is why I work with generational pain. It truly does pass down the line, until someone is willing to heal it. And this is why I can hear a lot of stories that may come my way, because I’ve been there, and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Everything we experience is so we can find our way out. None of us are truly meant to be victims.
That was one chapter of my life. Another was school and society. I was labelled as having a learning disability, and I required accommodation to get some information into my head. But I do not think I was learning disabled, I think that the level of stress and pressure that I was experiencing made it hard to absorb information. I also think some of the things that they teach in school are simply not my version of the truth. The accommodations helped, but what would have helped more would have been love, compassion, and understanding.
When I reached the working world, I was successful in the traditional sense (great job, great education, good money), but my body was falling apart, and I could not continue to do work that was not aligned with who I wanted to be - serving others. I had already learned to dissociate from my body because of the abuse in childhood, and because I didn’t feel safe when people looked at me. When I was 25yrs old I had a manic episode, lost touch with reality, and couldn’t work anymore. Once I was feeling more stable, I went back to school and learned how stress can cause physical and mental illness, both academically and personally.
My symptoms included severe physical, mental, and emotional anxiety and panic. After 5yrs of chronic stress and psychotherapy 4 times per week (with a manipulative psychiatrist who presented my case at a conference, without my permission, with me in the audience, and then denied it for weeks), I took a simple anti-malaria vaccine which triggered clinical major depression, ending the academic chapter to my life.
I medicated myself for about a decade. Finding the right medication actually brought peace, and dullness, to my life for the first time. I stopped writing, I stopped remembering, but I could function. And this was good, for a while.
But, then I had my son, and it was evident that no one was going to be happy if I tried to parent him the way most people parent their kids. So, I discovered a lot of great parenting classes and groups, and applied attachment parenting, baby-led weaning, and unconditional parenting. It worked well, until I became pregnant with my second child. I was so ill in my pregnancy with her, most days ended with me lying alone in the fetal position wanting to die. My symptoms were so odd that the traditional medical community could not help me. So, I found alternative practitioners and spiritual teachers. It was clear, before she was even born, that she was leading me to find everything that I would need in order to parent her and her brother more effectively. My kids are why I do what I do, and have the tools that I have on board.
What these new techniques do, above and beyond traditional parenting advice, is they look at each child as a unique individual, with their own unique needs, sensitivities, and gifts, so that you can select the parenting strategies that are likely to be the best fit for your unique child and family, and feel reassured that what you are seeing in your child, or yourself, is normal for their or your unique design.
I continue to learn every day. And I offer this to my clients.
I also began to realize that, because of my medication, I was a bit of a robot when it came to my emotions. So, now that I finally had a stable and safe home environment, with my amazing husband and kids, and a way to understand myself and my life, and cope with my issues, I decided to come off my medication.
Coming off the medication was smooth and uneventful. But, there have of course been bumps along the way, in my healing journey. Every bump has been a gift to learn a new healing technique, which I can then offer to my clients. I have truly been blessed!
Now my focus is to take care of my kids, understand myself and my family better, heal all levels of my body from everything that I have been through, and work with my kids, co-parent, and clients to really master parenting and life. I also work with youths and adults, so they can see their story as just who they are, the journey that they are on, and nothing to be ashamed of or to hold onto, so we can all shine, as ourselves.
I know my work is not for everyone. Some people want to remain asleep, some people like to play the earth game, where we chase achievements, money, vacations and things, and that’s ok, if that’s what you are here to do. No judgement, we all came for different experiences.
I am here to work with those who came to grow, to forgive themselves, to forgive their parents, to understand, to heal, and to save their kids from going through the programming of “trying to be like everyone else”.
I see the potential, pain, and gift in all kids, and people. I am here for those who want to see their light and their kids’ light.
I know, we live in a society where many people want an excuse, an illness or disorder, so they can take a break from the game, or get some accommodations so they can push themselves (or their kids) even harder. I know this comes from love (and fear) on the part of parents. Wanting what is best for their kids, many parents feel: if they do not push their kids their kids will miss out. This is simply not true!
Every child has so much potential, and if you just stopped to watch, you will be in awe. And so do you!
I am here for parents who want to stop pushing and want to start supporting and shining the light, so their kids can walk toward their unique potential. This is a family affair. Parents need to heal, kids need to be allowed to be themselves.
And, interestingly, when you live in alignment with your true self, all the good stuff (like money, accomplishments, vacations, and things) come anyways, and feel a lot better, because there is no impostor syndrome when you are being true to yourself, and no one can ever take your true gifts away from you!
The way my services work is: Using Soul Contract, Human Design, and Astrology, I can show you proof that your life is exactly as you planned it to be, and using these same tools plus Gene Keys, I can give you strategies to cope with yours and your family’s design – this will settle your mental body. I can also offer support, understanding, acceptance, and love, because of my personal experience, to normalize your experience – which will settle your emotional body. I can use Divine Healing and Esogetic Medicine to lift the energetic effects of your (traumatic) experiences – which can facilitate the healing of your physical and spiritual bodies. For a brief update, go here: From Fear and Blame to Recovery and Play
So, this is what I do and why. I hope this is helpful to give you a glimpse into me, and how I can support you, if this work feels like what you are looking for. I am open to answering any questions, and I encourage you to book a free, no obligation, 15min consultation here, to see if this work resonates with you.
There are many people in this industry who will mislead you. It is very important to be discerning who you invest your time, money, emotions, and story into. I invite you to see if my work resonates with you.
Love and Bless, Strong Family, Strong Light!
Guide to Conscious Living and Multidimensional Health
Stress and Health"