I know there is a lot of pressure to choose childcare, sometimes before your child is born. But how do you go about selecting the best place for your child?
Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash
What I am going to share with you is unconventional. It is intended as a compliment to what you already believe, or what you may have read elsewhere. I trust that you can read this and put it together with what you already "know" and then feel what is true for you. Never take anyone else's word over your own instinct for what is right for you or your child.
See "Parents - We are perfect for our kids! Lets cut ourselves some slack!" if you have any doubt.
Choosing childcare, these are the steps I recommend:
Find out YOUR decision making strategy, according to Human Design, so you can access the wisest part of yourself for this BIG decision of who to trust with your child.
Look at your child's Human Design. Be able to highlight: a) their strengths, b) their needs, c) their vulnerabilities (this information is fully accessible by me and verifiable by you, even if the child is under 1yr of age and non-verbal - you know the truth when you see it / hear it).
Talk to each childcare provider openly. Say "what do you do if a child does X?". Be totally honest with all the frustrating things your child does or may do and listen to the childcare providers response. And not just the words, but the energy. Feel "is this how I want someone to respond to my child when he/she is at her most vulnerable point?". If the answer is NO, quickly move on. There are a LOT of REALLY insensitive childcare providers out there who are "old school / by the books" and truly have no business caring for children. Children require love and respect and support, and not unreasonable expectations! You will know what feels right. My teacher always said "you do not know someone until you find them, and you do not find them until there is a challenge". So, challenge these would be caregivers! Ask them: "what would you do if my child refused to eat, refused to sleep, hit another child, bit a child, laid on the floor and cried...? etc." Go for it, this is real life, you want to know!
Share with them the strengths of your child. You may only want to do this if they pass step 3. But see, do they believe you, when you say my child is good at X? Or do they roll their eyes? I don't think I have to tell you that you are looking for someone who lights up and is ready to support positive development and NOT someone who rolls their eyes and thinks you are full of entitlement and too much pride. And I suggest you use your child's Human Design to keep you honest. We are all proud of our kids (I hope). But their Human Design and Soul Contract may keep you more grounded and real - as every design has good and bad, and all people have good and bad, and it is only when we aknowledge both that we can find a match for our child (and ourselves).
If you want to be really daring, show the childcare provider your child's Human Design. See how far you can stretch them from their paradigm. Can they accept that all kids are unique? And that what may work for one child may not work for your child? Any childcare provider who turns their nose up at Human Design, in my opinion, is closed minded to your input, and your child, and I would RUN from them.
Choosing the best childcare that you can for your child, on the above principals is crucial because:
These are the formative years for your child. They are forming their beliefs about self. They are setting their compass for what to expect in life. You put them with someone who Supports Their Light and they will flourish in life. You put them with someone who plans to squash and mold them and you crush their spirit. Trust me, my son and I have learned and continue to learn the hard way, but we are getting better!
If you choose the wrong environment and your child is sensitive, chances are after a little while, maybe a year, it will become obvious that your child is very unhappy or has been altered in his/her character, and then you may need to take a leave from work in order to fix or re-shuffle your child to appropriate care, and this is VERY stressful to do, especially if you are pregnant with your next child by this time. Again, trust me, we learned the hard way on that one too!
As I have said before, you are PERFECT for your child, but you do need to listen to your inner guidance system, you need to trust when things feel off, even if this is inconvenient for you or anyone else.
Be the mama bear! That's YOUR child!
Reach out if you have any questions. I always offer a free, no obligation, 15min consultation, here.
Love and Blessings,
MSc Psychology, Stress and Health