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The trauma of not being seen, and the layers of my services, mapped onto the levels of the brain

Updated: Jul 9

I've been learning more about giftedness lately. I took this inventory:


Evolutionary IQ evaluation
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I got 32 (high) multiple intelligence, 50 (exceptional) gifted talents, 55 (exceptional) advanced development, and 137 (very high) EvIQ.


Some of the questions, geared to make you seem more gifted or evolved, I don't think that way, because of my spiritual beliefs. In particular, I think we actually grow and benefit from tough life experiences (I see them as rich), and I don't think we can save anyone from what they need to go through, though it may pain us to see them suffer. I don't donate to causes because generally companies asking for a donation are simply trying to get a tax break by being charitable, and I also feel mainstream medicine can cause harm, so I don't want to contribute to it.


As you may notice above, my weaker scores are on the mainstream intelligence side, even though this questionnaire is skewed towards multiple intelligence, the thing is, I don't have all intelligences in equal proportion. I am very good at some things, which makes it hard for me to find peers who can actually keep up with what I am thinking, and very poor at other things, which means I need to hire out to design anything artistic. I also know my husband is far more capable at multitasking and dealing with all the things necessary to book a trip, fix and maintain our house and cars, make a fancy meal, make small talk, while I focus more on psychological development, finding MacGyver one-time solutions to problems, and booking programs for our children. It might be tempting to say that because of trauma, I am left brain dominant, but I also use both sides of my brain at the same time for my intuition and spiritual guidance.


I wanted to think that "gifted" kids are maybe kids who are seen by their parents and respected for who they are, but the school system can't catch them, because the school refuses to look outside of the box. But there are plenty of gifted people who are not seen by their parents, such as myself. My parents couldn't see me because of what that would mean for them. I've made peace with that by now, but I have experienced loneliness a lot in my life, and this body of work shares that human connection is a biological need, and that loneliness can be just as life threatening as starvation:



I heard about it on this podcast:



Accessible here, with links to some of what they talk about: https://intergifted.com/conversations-gifted-trauma/


The previous episode portrayed giftedness more as feeling like a misfit to society, not understanding how everyone can just do what most people seem to do. This to me is more a sign of a high frequency (or awake) soul. That was true for me too, as well as many of my teachers.


The episode is particularly brilliant because it shares the social mistakes gifted people tend to make because of their past experiences, and it also reminds me how my services fit together.


I bought the book below, to read over the summer, as sharing with my son's school, that he has a medical condition and this is why he is often late or absent, did not help the school be more understanding or supportive, so maybe telling the school that he is gifted, and that they failed him last year, will encourage them to try to inspire him next year?:



What resonates for me in this book is: never needing to study until I got to university. This doesn't mean I didn't know how to study. But I was also titrating school before university, to make it at least a little bit fun to learn, opting to teach myself grade 13 algebra and geometry, I didn't do too well, so I took it again with a teacher and did very well. I always felt grateful that I had a late birthday, because if I had an early birthday, I would have not been able to stand how easy and obvious everything was at school (except for history and geography, which made no sense to me, it's all made up politics). I think my son is the same, everything he says he already knows, and he hates the study guides or showing his work, because he says he doesn't think that way. Most of the assignments do not apply to him, because they refer to things he's already resolved in his life.


I am in the business of helping parents and teachers understand themselves and their students/kids. In the neurosequential model of trauma, this aspect of my business would be cortical work:



However, just like my parents inability to see me because of their problems, you can't really do cortical work with people who are stuck in lower brain structures, based on the developmental age at which they experienced trauma.


For example, people who are drowning in their emotions and retriggering illness with their negative thoughts, may be stuck in their limbic brain, and may benefit from these types of services:



My most recent success with these treatments was to address social issues with my daughters and their friends. It wasn't physical, it wasn't cortical, it was limbic, connection, relational. I needed to see what was happening for my youngest, so I could make some changes for her, and my middle needed to be open to other options. After the treatments, both children have made major shifts. It always surprises me how well simple adjustments can work.


People who are more mainstream, 3D, physical, may be able to cognitively understand the cortical unique psychology, if they are open to it, but they may not be open enough to trust what is offered at the limbic level. Others will be so flooded by their physical symptoms and seeing the conflict in their lives as justified that they may be better suited for these types of services:



Even though Esogetic Medicine claims to travel all the way up and down, it does so in a nonverbal way.


I like how the conversation about gifted trauma and healing through gifted connection (imaged above) spoke to the need for somatic work, because everything is stored in our body, and meta work, because we are responsible for understanding ourselves and explaining ourselves to others, and also the extreme resistance people have to doing so, because they think it is up to other people to treat them well, but how can they, if you don't even know yourself, how are they supposed to know you, you are in you, they are not.


My guess is, the time spent being seen is what meets the limbic portion of the brain, while, for me, being seen comes from the cortical models above, and integrates by asking the information field (or high frequency bodies of work) for loving guidance, which sends an impulse from spirit, belief, or the zero point field, to open up new possibilities, that could not be found, until we open this new level of awareness.


It's not actually true, just because I can lay it out this way. It's a working model, to see, over time, if it makes sense, and if not, how we can adjust it.


It pains me that people undergo heart surgery, thinking it's just that, when Esogetics shares that "nothing goes for the heart first, everything protects the heart if it can". And how frequently people will go for all kinds of surgery, not realizing that all these cuts and scars make communication (proper flow of energy) hard.


Everything that happens is so that we can learn. And we get the information that could have changed our trajectory after the fact, because what we did "wrong" was our trajectory.


I don't know if my child is gifted, I considered having him assessed by:



While the $1273 fee would take some convincing for my husband, the 18 month wait is a bit extreme and I don't even know if she would assess my now 12yr old (who could change so much in 18 months). Plus, they say they don't even respond to your request, if you are not a fit for their assessment, because of the volume of their requests. I get it, another lesson for me, about the value of my services.


I can already see the majority of my son's giftedness and struggle in his human design, as well as my youngest's through her human design and soul contract. And I can see so much more, especially when I add the external services that I use.


I did a sensory treatment on myself, because I am learning about sensory issues too and, from an Esogetic standpoint, sensory treatments are for our world view and our willingness to grow. If we see the world as dangerous and ourselves as incompetent, or if we think that we are right and we are too rigid to consider any other possibility, then we will have problems.


When I think of my son with sensory issues (in the mainstream way, he likes to pull a hoodie over his head tight, and he merges his body with others). As a kid, he would push others to try to engage them in play. During his induced birth, I had the epidural turned up way too high, so he was trapped in the birth canal, and I didn't register that he was engaged and ready for me to push, so he could be born.


Unlike mainstream sensory treatments, that try to get us to tolerate more sensory experiences (while calming the stem brain with repetition and rhythm), Esogetic sensory treatment shifts our perception, so our sensory system doesn't have to keep over reacting. The only reason it overreacts is to signal that there is a problem with our current perception.


I heard recently, how upset some people get at the suggestion that issues with their child could be related to prenatal or birth trauma. This is what I mean, people who can not get over the self-blame, who put up a wall, and say "no, I won't accept your help, because I won't accept your theory". That's fine, and the opposite is also true, the victim who wants to be validated as a victim. I know, we don't like victim blaming, and it's not that. We attract the scenarios we need to communicate and experience what we need to communicate and experience.


I hope this is helpful, as we heal the things that we can, and live with the things that we can't, as we wait to be given the opportunity/time to heal them.


My favorite part of the work that I do is seeing the connections, as I look at the charts or apply Esogetic treatments, or read about mainstream theories that go 75% of the way, but then lack the spiritual jump to healing or accepting of gifts.


We operate in this life at so many levels. And I do feel we are borrowing from autism and giftedness, in order to find the shades of our unique psychology, because we think there is neurotypical and neurodivergent, when what I really think it is is high frequency souls who have different levels of success merging into the physical body and interfacing with souls who are here for a more mainstream experience.


I call mainstream people "the backdrop". In fact, everyone is "the backdrop" for everyone else, as each of us is the main character in our life's mission. We are all gifted, and flawed, needing others for some things, serving others with what we are good at (or what we have invested time in, to learn how to do, and to bring in the equipment required). And that's it, for now.


I don't know if this does justice to what I wanted to share, given the vast amount of information that I am taking in and trying to integrate/synthesize, but I wanted to share two more books (or bodies of work). They may not be perfect, but they are helpful (maybe more from a "love yourself, love your kids" perspective, and be open to looking again with curiosity, to try to understand why things are so hard for the person you judge, and how we can make it easier):



Another thing mentioned in the podcast above, was about when people need others to be exactly like them: same beliefs, same skin colour, same hair, same goals, same values, same definition for things, very tribal. And I wonder if this too is stem brain. Then limbic brain would be more collectivist (dumbing ourselves down in order to get along). While cortical would be more individualistic (not necessarily that we need to be the best, but willing to know and be our unique selves).


Take what is of benefit for you, leave the rest.

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