Yesterday was a good day. I share these things not to finger point, but to show perspective.
At my kids’ karate, my youngest and I went in to watch, and I had a mini conversation with grandparent, who said, in the context of a larger conversation; “I think everyone took a hit with C”, and my response was “yes, but there were so many family gains”. And then, feeling the energy, I had to think about that. Maybe I should have said “immediate” family gains, and only for those who put in the effort to work on themselves or, by some miracle, already had similar values. What a mouthful!!
And, on the way out, we were speaking with the sensei, because our middle is thinking about quitting karate, for many reasons, some of them excuses. We realize one reason could be that fighting does not align with how she sees herself. She prefers to see her self as more “girlie” - gymnastics, dance, talking about boyfriends. She does’t like to see that 1) she has an angry side, and 2) she knows how to channel it (and sometimes gets called out for it).
So the sensei shared that “some of the top female fighters are jacked in the fight and very much expressing their feminine side at the after parties (with heels and dresses and makeup)”. To this I said “but I don’t want her to be both extremes, what’s wrong with being in the healthy middle? We learned from C how important it is not to be at either extreme”, to this he reiterated this concept:
Which I was already well aware of, and have written about. We need to walk amongst the extremists, learn from what we are able to see, while not being swayed to lose our cool.
I‘ve traditionally struggled with my in-laws. But my mother in-law, I am happy to report, seems to have done some work on her self, being alone for 2yrs, that she can, at times, be more tolerable (when she is not talking from the side of her mouth, driving my husband insane while she bad mouths a then 2yr old).
But, sadly, my sister in law is still pretty much the same. My son opted to stay away from her when he was younger and still kind of does, and my middle and youngest are starting to as well.
My middle wants people to be proud of her, and to support her to be kind. But my sister in law takes it upon herself to scold her for not putting the effort into reading.
While my sister in law may be tasked to teach other young kids to read, my middle did not sign up to be her student.
Second, when my sister in law focused on reading, instead of the playing with our youngest, with the Lego she guided my her to, to “allow” our oldest to build Lego in the same room, without it being stolen, as it was her belief this should be possible (while she has been absent from our lives for 2.5yrs), our youngest got upset and started to throw Lego at her. Fair, she had lost her ability to form language, this was the best she could do.
My sister in law then proceeded to scold and put words in her mouth, and then went downstairs to gain sympathy from my husband who was talking to mother in law and sister in law via zoom.
After a short while, middle started to hide in her room, despite sister in law continuing to ask for entry, who even told middle she was not allowed to eat the food we had at home because she had to order take out with her, although, that could have beena lie to please me (who said the food she ordered, we had in the fridge).
But the kicker is, middle blame V status and C fear as reasons for not wanting to be around her aunt anymore.
See how easy it is?
Fail to work on your self, blame C and V status for all your limits and problems.
My kids’ grandma is the same. She also avoids due to C fear and V status, and when she surfaces, she complains that things were not to her expectation/liking.
And, the bigger story, for me, is:
I don’t get upset anymore. I watch, I try to help, and I exit the scene. To be where I want to be. And, it turns out, I got to study a concept in this time (from Esogetic Medicine), that may help me with the client I have today:
Basically, the heart detects stimuli first, then informs the intestines (to form emotion/feelings) and brain (to form opinion/decisions).
If we have negative emotion, that simply means we have a block, which is collecting unprocessed emotions. Because moving emotions do not leave an unpleasant after taste (only blocks do that).
The final stop for emotions is our mouth, teeth, and sinuses.
So many people have sinus, teeth, and mouth problems right now (for many reasons: dentists were too strict with C rules, people went less often, people wore Ms and took Vs, the meridians all end in the mouth, so the mouth signals all the problems in the body, so does the back with the vertebra, and fhive gee weakens all integrity, so does stress, etc).
Of course, we have to address these issues where they are acting up, but this is down stream. We also need to look upstream to find the block.
The pathway is always the same: from source, down to the kundalini line, then up through the lungs, and eventually the head.
So, what people are experiencing is literally the physical aspect of blocked kundalini rising. When this pathway is blocked, we make bad decisions, because we can not get guidance from spirit anymore, and this is when illness or dis-ease takes hold.
We are here to follow spirit and our life path, if we can’t or don’t, we get sick, period.
I am so grateful that I know this for my self, and that I can support others. I just don’t know how to tell them. I am certainly not going to touch this family issue at all, unless asked.
It‘s funny too, because, I was asked to give my other sister in law’s daughter something for her to open on her 18th birthday (in 17 years). I have no idea what will happen tomorrow or next month, so, all I could think of, was to simply hand her her human design, soul contract, astrology, and gene keys. And then my sister in law said “how did you get this?” and the original sister in law said in a snide negative way “oh, that’s her business”. It’s funny to hear her accusing me of overstepping with my business, while she oversteps with hers (trying to enforce manners and reading).
Right, I forgot, she also took middle aside and told her how to stand up for her self to little, and this really bothered middle because, her words: ”I love my sister, she’s just 3yrs old, what do you expect?” But she can’t say this to her aunt yet, only to me.
My middle, like me, prefers to hear ways she can be kind, not mean.
These extended family members are still enacting their unhealed issues through the relationships of others. It’s sad, but at least our kids know what to do. Hide, let the adults sort it out, and hopefully tell the truth, so we can help them better. It’s not the person’s C or V status, it’s something else, let’s get to that!
Although, in my middle’s defense, she does say “sometimes she forgets the truth, so she says whatever she can think of to try to approach what is true”. Just like our body showing red flags, to signal a need for help, not just on the surface (symptoms), but beneath (original cause, still unprocessed), as well.
I hope this helps.
I have been fried by this family before, scolded for how I do things. But, I teach from life, to benefit those interested in learning. I don’t enter into conflict, and I don’t need the full intricate story that pulls me under, unless we are going there, and that is not up to me to decide. I am not a practitioner unless asked to be, and people should not be teachers unless asked to be.
ps. Middle will learn to read, just like her older brother, spontaneously, on her own (around the age of 8/9yrs). Because we live in a literal world, this simply skill emerges, just like walking, running, and talking, and it’s so empowering, for everyone, when you let it happen that way. Don’t let anyone ever tell you you have to try harder to gain a skill, the more you try, the more pressure you have, the harder it is, for your natural inheritance to come to you. Imagine a flower trying to become a fruit, it would never happen. We are nature, just like everything around us. Let’s drop the mainstream “push it til you break” mindset, and just be, in awe, of life, and each other!