Updated: May 1
At age 13, my experience with numerology, planted a seed for me to train in Soul Contract, over 20yrs later. Being a trained practitioner, led me to work with a business coach, who paired me with a numerologist, who told me that "I am an earth angel, here to feel pain, so I can support others".
This belief served me for many years.
However, recently, I've discovered, I am more of an Essene.
For a long time, my Divine Healing sessions would point to "I want a quiet life", as if this were a key psychological conflict, but its not. Its something I seek, benefit from, and need.
So, I traded in my wing necklaces, for non-hoodie organic cardigans, and truly embrace my time processing water and vegetables.
While I am grateful for my friends, who have gone deep into certain pools of knowledge, and share, despite criticism, I also know that my truth does not fit with just one person's world view.
I find when we must cling to one world view, we are limited and rigid, and distracted from seeing the bigger picture, and watching things as they change.
My Masters's advisor, when I had severe social anxiety, used to say to me "Channah, my opinion of you is not made up of any one thing that you do, but a culmination of the many things that you do, which together, gives me an overall essence of your character".
While, I will not be the one to wish you happy whatever the collective is celebrating, trust me to be there (if I am aware and have anything in me left to give) when you are in need. And, when I am suffering, I know it’s momentary, and I may not respond to others about how I am doing, until I have shifted to wellness, unless I feel an outside perspective (or something concrete another can do) may help. Otherwise, for me, it’s just spreading pain, that need not be expanded, or attached to by others, as a distraction from their own inner work. But that’s just me.
You can read some of the Esogetic Medicine perspectives here:
Or, below, is my summary.
And, the reason for many of the non-numerology paragraphs in this article (which have been looking for a home):
A lot of our problems are communicated to us through our back. This is why its so good to go for massages, and to learn, where do we actually hurt? We ignore so much in this world, and in our bodies!
My self-care routine includes tuning in every morning to see where my body needs support (my aches and symptoms) and, if I have time, what is sensitive (what portals are open for change).
The heart brain is a hot topic right now, but I also include the cerebral and abdominal brains, connections within and across the body, and life experience.
Everything is talking to us.
What is moving is healthy, change is growth.
So many seek consistency, control, what they can manage. They think constant growth is about the size of their bank account, what they own, and the number of degrees or people under their belt. For me, its not.
I remember a coach who moved house a lot, and who used to say he was graduating his homes. I get it now, we graduate a lot of childcare facilities. He once said I should not pull my kids from the school system, as doing so removes much needed light. I left him as a client shortly after, because he did not have my or my kids' best interests at heart, he was trying to justify what he was doing to his kids, through me, and that's not ok. My kids will return, if and when they are ready, and if and when the conditions are right, for those who hold and guide the light.
"Compassion is to have no attachment to the outcome, but, to hold space for the highest evolution. It comes from the heart, because the mind is always in duality, good or bad. The heart can hold space for multiple options, many of which have no words" ~ paraphrased from Gregg Braden:
As the text in the image above suggests, Esogetic Medicine can also induce the Gamma40 state. Which allows neuroglia immune brain cells to turn from assassin to angel mode (see The Angel and the Assassin | Donna Jackson Nakazawa). And, as Gregg describes, Gamma40 is a state athletes can reach easily (runners high), where they love all and feel great. It often doesn't last long. But, when it is active, it shuts off the part of the brain focused on duality (good or bad, judgement) and the part of the brain focused on here and now, so it connects you to one-ness. Not to mention, it is a much needed brain detox, especially for the toxic time we find ourselves in.
So, my summary of Esogetic Numerology, for those who can use it (maybe just me):
1 - BalancingPolarity, the Magician, Aquarius?, the individual, needing to balance inside and out, the navel, left hand back to front, karmic action
2 - ReOrientation, the High Priestess, Libra?, GV20 (center channel, top of the head), polarity, above and below, light and dark, right hand front to back, polar rhythm
3 - InnerPower, the Empress, Venus?, heart, lungs, freedom, degeneration, the sternum, insomnia, neuroglia (sounds like this area is being hit hard right now with covid, the V, mainstream media, social media, and politics!!), right hand left to right, finding common ground
4 - Insight, the Emperor, Virgo?, legs, here and now, intestines, frozen feelings, sacrum, material plane, the elements, left hand right to left
5 - ClearBlocks, the Hierophant, Cancer?, can't unfold, cerebral brain tries to be here, heart tries to reach up, rejected, abdominal problems, negative stress, bottom of the shoulder blades, too fast, excess, need to adapt to evolve, loneliness, right hand back left to front right, remember
6 - BreakFree, the Lovers, pain, tension, destruction, give too much to others and too little to self, acting against one's best interest, taken advantage of, knees, sacroiliac, organ tension, heart, liver, stomach, pancreas, migraine, dizzy, odd states, rheumatism, gout, can't digest or detox, between the shoulder blades, left hand front right to back left, beauty is what results from polar opposites
7 - YourWay, the Chariot, CNS, senses (impression of life), medulla (ability to function by default), overcome the "homunculus" (read The Red Lion - the mind can only take you so far and beyond that it will always fail and with that comes extreme misuse of power and rage), occiput, left hand back right to front left, overcome one's self in order to change, Scorpio?
8 - ConsciousLife, Justice, Ego, Pluto?, Success or Failure, Pain Clock (collection of everything that happens in life), forehead, right hand front left to back right, change and transform
9 - Summarize1-8, the Hermit, tense, relax, insomnia, detox, brain, dementia, systemic illness, Neptune?, "live peace or it is an illusion", different opinion than most, often taken advantage of, solarplexus, center, GV20, completion/wisdom
BODY (1-4-7): matter, teleois, patterns in everything
SPIRIT/MIND (3-6-9): can't find one's center, apathy, depression, systematic dis-ease
SOUL/EMOTION (2-5-8): in between, insomnia, disturbed sleep rhythm
I bring all this up and together, because, detox is normal. Critical, in fact.
Movement through the numbers is detox.
Things can, but usually don’t, fix right away. Instead, we are often taken to our next step, which needs attention. While this may be frustrating for those who want to know the result they will get, in what amount of time, for what total investment, I think you (and your life story) are worth more than that.
And, isn’t life more fun when it surprises you, and everything you thought to be true, can finally shift?
I also think longevity (modern day immortality), is only accomplished through detox.
We are fish swimming in a polluted ocean. We are meant to be here and to survive, as long as we can, learn as much as we can, suffer as little as possible, help the fish who are open to being helped, and not get bogged down by those determined to stay stuck and/or distract others.
Avoiding illness with chemicals is fiction. We are buckets. We fill, we empty. If stuff has been in there for a while, its kind of toxic to us and others when released. But, better out than in.
Use technology in a way that is smart, that extends, but does not replace, that which most do not understand.
And, be kind, because everything comes back, until we learn this lesson.
I hope this helps.
And, for those who say my work is too confusing, they can not mentally follow, it makes them feel dumb, well, ...
I write for me, to see if I can, to reference in future, and maybe to benefit you too. If you develop an interest to seek more, you know where to find me, for what I have to offer. Which is mostly just the wisdom that I am working through, to live a better life. And mostly, purely, because I am curious to see how it all fits together, and to make things better, if I can, which isn't always up to me.
And, this is what I think the more masculine gurus lack. They think they have to figure out the one way and share it with all because the others are not smart enough to engage in the work. The old Essene (feminine) way may have been to keep the work hidden so people don't hurt themselves and others when they don't know (or engage) enough. But, Mother Mary tried, and she couldn't set people right, and so, the false prophets exist, and it is up to you to discern, who actually does the work to think and re-think and is of value to seek for counsel and guidance, and, who took a weekend course and wants to make money at it, or to seem smarter than you?
I assure you, I am not smarter than you, I just keep working at it, and you can work along side me, until you can do it on your own, for as much as you intend to apply your self, that is the gain you will receive.
This is what wearing my first unisex organic long sleeve shirt brought to me: balance, gender is irrelevant. Sending love.
Now to see if this articles serves, and is used, or is not, and my compassion for self says: "It doesn't matter. I hold the light for the highest possible outcome, and move on". Hope you do too! <3