Parenting - before enlightenment chop wood carry water, after enlightenment chop wood carry water
After completing my last article, I turned my attention away from being upset with others out there and focused it on what we are doing wrong as a family.
I am concerned with the words we say to our children becoming their inner voice. I was going to speak with my husband about this this morning, and then I returned to this book:
Which took me to a passage about a mom of a 3yr old who was upset with her self for saying to her child “you think the world revolves around you, and it doesn’t!”, to which her child responded “it moves?”.
The teaching, is that we are supposed to be so in tuned with our babies that they think we are an extension of them, that they are safe, at the center of the universe, which does not move. Then, at around age 2-3yrs, when we get incredibly frustrated that they are using us as their tool, we can direct this fire in us to help them see we are separate, and use the fire inside them to help them grow. My RestoreChiI teacher always said “don’t drain your kids of too much of their fire, (like a plant) they need it to grow!”
The next story was about a drinking glass, whom the teacher loved, but he said it is already broken to him, because at any moment he could knock it over and it could shatter, so he appreciates it more in the now. Impermanence, all of us are flames that will go out, and we will be at rest, if we actually learned the lessons we came for in this life. The lessons we learn have permanence, our life and material possessions do not.
Someone asked me to write a letter for their 1yr old to open when she is 18yrs old, I couldn’t. I honestly do not know who will be alive in 17yrs or what this world will be like, with all the unbelievable selfish blind action going on.
I am at peace, because, when they said “I did my kids a disservice by being there for them and listening to their limits, because doing so is not sustainable”, well, nothing is sustainable. We do what is right, for as long as it is right, and when this changes, we change.
All is well, when you’re honest with your self and your kids and your life.