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This is such a great episode…

Updated: Apr 1

The whole podcast is great, because very few people feel like they are really here. But in this episodes is taking me through an interesting process:

But first, let's take a step back. I started with episode 1 (to get to know who am I going to be listening to), then I listened to episode 5 (to see how she interviews others). I loved it, but I don't follow hockey, so I jumped to episodes 2, 3, and 4. Episode 3 I skipped out of, with her permission, as she said "if you're not ready, then leave", and I know I am not in a place to be adding more triggers, as I am still digesting my current "meal".

This brings me to the episode above, which she starts by sharing about this song, and how the pressure builds and is finally released:

The lyrics that stand out for me are about knowing that the person who is asking for help is not being genuine, that we can see what they are doing, not sure if we or they know we are both aspects of god (playing a role to offer an opportunity for healing to the other), and that we are going to embrace this lesson as something we've been waiting for our whole life, so we can have more understanding, acceptance, and love. This is what the work that I do is all about!

Not to spoil her episode, but to give you the option to listen or not, she shares her 3 tips for dealing with pressure:

  1. Stay calm

  2. Breathe, and

  3. Trust your intuition

I want to speak to this, because I use my anger energy when it comes, but I also decide whether to keep it going or to release it, if it no longer serves the situation or my health. I also wrote an article (which may have been lost) called "stop trying to control how I breathe" because breathing is something I have struggled with most of my life, and I dislike breathing exercises. That said, I now see that I literally inherited issues with breathing from the way my mother operates in this world (her subconscious world view), and I inherited problems with digestion from my dad. You can see it in the pattern of my left and right eye, shown in my last article, part of Esogetic Medicine, and I am working on both.

Master Yan cleared the pain at the top of my breath and the lung ventilator track (accessible for free at, which redirects to a YouTube page that plays the track) helps me when the top of my breath gets restricted. Now my preferred method of working on my breath is to see if I can smoothly balance how much I take into my chest and how much I take into my abdomen. Can I expand equally in all directions? Of course, if my breath is not smooth or painfree enough to play this game, I have the track above to help get me there.

But I want to go back. It's interesting that when I looked for the song on Spotify, it somehow came up with this version, but when I went back to find this version for this article, the song does not appear in this album:

To me this a reminder that we are all primitive, trying to figure life out, and things don't always turn out as they appear. Yes, there are those who act as though they are in the right, all the time, and entitled by policy, to do as they please but, as I alluded to in my last article, following policy is one of the most extreme acts of violence.

What I feel when I hear this song and think about my intuition, is how often I am present in the moment, in a conversation with someone, open and honest with what comes up in me, in response to what they say, but then I leave that situation and I don't feel ok. I feel like I was under a spell, hypnotized, their ego stroked, a game was played, at my expense.

I specifically said "do not call me, email" so I have time to digest what is shared (as mentioned above, I inherited needing time to digest from my dad), and the caller still called me, because it is their preference "because so much is lost over email", regardless of the boundary I set for my safety.

Whenever I send an email (or write an article or post), I sometimes feel good and sometimes I don't. I can feel what might come back at me. I can read into the short response, and know that they disappove of my actions, and I am being "handled". I then feel the pressure. "When is the response going to come?", a kin/brother to "when is the abuse going to enter my bedroom, where I am supposed to feel safe?"

This is all of us. Many of us were mistreated as kids, some of us don't remember, but if we are sick (have any emotional, physical, mental, spiritual, social, pain, rigidity, or discomfort), it's possible our cells do.

I'm glad I got the information they wanted to share through a conversation (instead of email), because it allowed me to get and give more information with some back and forth, but then I get more information as a process it all afterwards, and because I already got my "one phone call", there is no good way to revisit the subject, unless I want to go through another round of pain, which I don't. I just have to accept that they played me, they always do, and now I have more information about where the limits are, and I've been able to heal another layer of my childhood wounds.

I honestly have to assess: How much of this is me trying to rebuikd my shitty world view, and how much of this is true?

We have to be careful, not to continue to rebuild our illness/pain, once it's been taken away. But, we can also trust, if our illness/pain were really taken away, it wouldn't rebuild.

I am being vague (because this could be about anything that can help you release and grow), but I'll also be specific (so you know where I am coming from and what I can support):

There are so many support groups for parents with neurodivergent kids, looking for support on how to deal with the school system and its staff, especially the leadership.

This would not be the case if schools were run with kindness and support for kids and families. They are run with support for the government agenda, and this has nothing to do with supporting kids to be healthy and thrive, but to make them docile voters, consumers, feeling like they have no choice but to do as they are told in life. It kills the spirit of most kids, but neurodivergent kids don't go down without a fight, nor do their parents, but many do not know what the fight is for, so they burnout instead of taking the opportunity to learn, move on, and thrive.

So my point is: Yes, stay calm, breathe, and use your intuition, but also question all these processes. Are you using them well, is it serving you?

Thank you for this opportunity to continue to process. Keep up the great work Dragon Sanctuary (Eye am Vick).

The 3 word statements that she uses while breathing, all beginning with I AM, are super powerful too. This is what we try to guide clients to, when trying to shift old beliefs/habits into new intentions in divine healing, her mama is a practitioner too.

I hope this helps, inspires, check out her podcast, listen to the song, see what it does for you, be honest with yourself, is what you're doing making you better or worse, read my last article to find out more when it comes to how to use the school system to find your way and grow.

As for learning under pressure or from failure, that's how I feel whenever I am in my own healing process, or supporting my immediate family to heal. And this is why I truly feel it is not enough for people to come to me for healing and to expect to be healed. Healing is a process and at some point garbage comes out and flows in ways we didn't expect, and we need to be able to navigate this, without blaming the healer, who got the flow going, and couldn't possibly prepare us, for what we might need to do afterwards, because each of our journeys (to illness and health) is different.

The way I like to work with clients is: yes, I can access alot of information and the treatments that may resonate with you, some may work, some may not. But deciding which path to follow now, which later, with me or another, is up to you. I can only show the information, options, guide, and apply, but you live with the consequences of any choice, so you must also take a part in deciding what to do (while I hold some of the balance, accountability, and honesty, for the ego, and also from my education and experience). Very different from mainstream medicine, more equal and collaborative, in what we know and can offer to the healing process.


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