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The importance of recognizing a Double Loss for the impact of healing

Updated: Apr 16

Many people that I work with cannot stay in their body to receive treatment. This is visible in their kirlian photo, as having phenomena or missing sections in their radiation on both sides of their thumb(s).


Phenomena on the pinky side of the thumb represents a boundary violation in childhood. Phenomena on the other side of the thumb represents an inability to process out fear (which could present as issues with the tonsils, if removed this moves to the appendix, or extreme tenderness in the middle of the top of the shoulders).


Many say that dissociation is a very adaptive way for sensitive souls to survive difficult experiences in childhood (good survival instincts), but continuing to use this strategy when it is no longer necessary, just because one doesn't know any other way, is not good for long term health.


As you can see in the document attached (all images shown in this article, except the teapot song, and the gallery below, are also included in this document):


Esogetic Double Loss
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...a double loss means there is a dysfunction in the hormonal system, which prevents the body from pumping out conflict stress and emotions, from their head, chest, and intestines. It also means a person will often exit their body when you try to give them too much healing or information, because they don't have the capacity to process it, the threat of doing so scares them so much, that they are out of there, and healing attempts are a waste on them.


These 3 areas are similar to what TCM calls the triple warmer/heater. We have 3 sources of energy to sustain our life: inherited energy from our kidneys (weakened by fear), energy from air taken in and expelled from our head/lungs (weakened by grief), and energy from food/drink taken in and expelled by our digestive system (weakened by worry, anger, and inability to let go):



Dysfunction of the pituitary gland results in a dysregulation of the adrenals (cortisol) and the gonads (gonadotropin).


Over time, this is how chronic unprocessed stress results in cancer, because emotions and conflicts that are not processed and let go become physical:



When people exhibit a double loss in their kirlian photo, they didn't have someone to hold a safe space for them to process let go of their negative emotions, conflict, and trauma in childhood, so they don't know how to give this space to themselves.


Here is a diagram of the disease labels one might get if they have this kind of dysfunction in grounding (gonads) fear (kidneys/adrenals):


As you can see in one of my previous articles (They say it’s safe, but what if it’s not (a mainstream vs alternative experience)), an alternative assessment suggested that my son experienced an injury/infection on the right side of his body, below his waist, around age 3 to 4.5 years old. His sister was born 22 days before he turned 3. Shortly after she was born, he became quite violent at the loss of having direct access to me.


His assessment also showed that he had issues with his left lung since birth.


This is an excellent example of laterality: the inability of both sides of the brain and body to receive and process information together.


He is trying to grieve (lung on the left side, mother) but his right side (father) is blocked (too busy with work, and his own unprocessed trauma, to meet his needs) so he can't let go.


Even my youngest, when she is frustrated, will ask me to rub her tailbone, because this helps her ground and let go. She has zero tolerance for holding toxins in her body, and will reiterate trauma until she can fully process it out.


I have another client who has difficulty breathing. She blames it on long covid, but she also has a double loss. Add to this that she had a traumatic c-section, and doesn't really feel that part of her body.


So, like my son, stress triggers problems that she doesn't have the space or support to process out mentally, emotionally, and socially, and her body cannot pump it out physically, mostly because she has an instinct to dissociate.


While dissociation may have been the only safe strategy for a child, eventually, we have to say "I am safe now, I can process this, I can feel the pain, I can cry the tears, I can grieve the loss, I can be angry at what happened to me, I can claim the gift, I can let go and stop needing anyone to say it was wrong or to make it right, these lessons are my curriculum for life".


If not, re-read the list of illnesses that wait for the person who refuses to process and feel. It's not their fault, that they don't know how and they exit their body as a reflex, but Esogetic Medicine has a way to keep them in their body, to over time learn that it is safe, and then they can do the work to heal (which means to process and let go).


Much like my last article (The importance of your story, what most physical healers don’t have time for), this client's biggest shift in their kirlian photo was not something I did, but them moving out of a place where they felt under constant fight or flight, being chased by a tiger. Yes, some of the things that I did while they were living there helped, and it's probably part of why a new living arrangement opened up for them after such a long wait, because they were finally showing signs of readiness, to shift the way they look at life.


On our drive to karate, our youngest reminded me that it's like this song:



Today was the first day I was able to stay outside of her class the whole time. Before I had been sitting in her class wearing a safety vest that says "my child needs access to me for safety" because she gets aggressive when her needs aren't met, mostly when she is misunderstood and people don't give her the time to process and explain.


People often say to kids "take a breath". That's for us, not them. If we want to be respectful to them, we would work on our own stuff, so that we have the ability, time, and energy to hold space for their stuff. I'm guilty of it too. I know my son comes to me a lot and needs me a lot and I say "not now". Because I give so much to his sisters, and I study my modalities to have something for me, and I have to process all I have learned and how to apply it, and everything in me that comes up, that I don't always have time for my kids when they need it.


Today, I watched the majority of my youngest's class from the live video feed they provide, rather than being on my phone, finishing this article. Because, if remote healing works, remote holding space does too.


And I want to scream and cry, as watching my child clearly behave differently from her peers, knowing public school is not a fit for her right now, as my husband beside me says "she's ready, she needs to seperate from you".


This battle over how to raise our kids has been super painful. I know my husband wants what's best for them, but he also wants what's best for him. Kids always remind us of the trauma and conflict inside of us that still needs to be worked on, that's why so many parents send their kids away. Out of sight, out of mind, but still brewing illness in our body.


I do so much for our kids, and it's rarely recognized as enough. That's my own karma, my own life lesson.


Experiencing my husband trying to push me, to push our youngest, out of a situation that works for her, knowing she can make progress, and she can still refuse to accept the boundary violation of the lack of love at public school, when she has carefully selected alternative programs, where I can be there to support, if their support is lacking on any given day.


Just like they share in this video, you will see their steps to illness are similar to what is shared by TCM and Esogetics:



..."Disease labels only exist to justify selling people poison to ingest into their bodies. There is only one dis-ease, and that is: I am not comfortable with this, and I need space and support, to process it out", not thorns in my side, on the first day I finally get a series of wins!


I hope this helps?


Stay in your body, and find ways to feel, process, and put things in order, so you can let go. My daughter will either be ready for what my husband tries to push her into, or she will become violent and elope again. I just don't want the regression, I'd rather wait for readiness, than have to undo another trauma!


Ps. Hubby and I resolved the issue by picking a good time to talk about it, where I had the ability to listen, and find a solution, that meets his needs as well as mine. All he wanted was for our youngest to know, that if she decides not to go to public school next year for senior kindergarten, whenever she enters public school, it will not be into a kindergarten style classroom (with stations and shared desks), it will be into a grade style classroom (with individual desks). I don't want to create fear of missing out in her, but he wanted her to make an informed choice. We shared this with our youngest, and her primary concern remains: she needs access to me, which will never be an option in public school. After that she shared that her first choice would be her special program at we rock the spectrum, but since that teacher is on maternity leave, her second choice is what we are doing now (karate, gymnastics, ymca, and Mother Earth), we will add dance in the fall. To be honest, she prefers to know where her desk is and where her things are, while she loves the kindergarten play stations, having a space of her own will be good, and there are still stations to visit around the classroom in public school, at least for grades 1-3, and I suspect she will enter around then. I even let go of our support from ROCK (reach out center for kids) for her, because they don't get it, they can't, in the little and spaced out time that they spend getting to know us, and I disagree with their model. I do not believe that she needs a diagnosis because she is still working in herself. I do not believe that the people we trust, who love and support her to make tremendous progress, are less qualified than someone whose job it is to judge and make blanket recommendations. And I do not believe in their "circle or security", where there are certain behaviors we do to help kids seperate from us and certain behaviors we do to welcome them back, and never the two shall cross. I understand we don't want to confuse kids with our emotions, but there are so many things we need to listen to and adjust for. Of course we parents need to disentangle our fears and let them access what is good for them, but this model of pushing kids into trauma and helping them put themselves back together afterwards, just because this is what everyone else does, doesn't work for me. She will go to school when she is ready, just like her older siblings, minus the trauma.

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